"Really" (Carolyn-ism)

I have a Carolyn-ism, “REALLY!” 

I cannot say where this one originated, I simply say “REALLY” a lot.  I looked the word up.  Guess what, “REALLY” (Carolyn-ism) really means, “actually, truly, genuinely, categorically, or in reality”. 

No big surprise there.

The staff is fond of this Carolyn-ism.  However, about 3 weeks ago, “REALLY” (Carolyn-ism) began to take on new meaning.  It was a Sunday morning and Senior Pastor Cal Jernigan, Central Christian Church, introduced an idea “gratitude begins when entitlement ends”. 

I couldn’t get the idea out of my head, “Gratitude begins when entitlement ends.”  It’s been like a broken record, playing over and over in my head, reminding me just how self-consumed I am.  There are many times I say, “Carolyn, its ok! Go ahead you “REALLY” (Carolyn-ism) deserve it.”

New clothes, a raise, time off,  better home, a bigger family vacation, just $20, being skinny, a spot at the front of the checkout line, to see my children more often, spend extra time with my grandchildren, that new car, a candy bar, or simply an ice cream cone.  After all, I work “REALLY” (Carolyn-ism) hard - I’m entitled.

However, “Gratitude begins when entitlement ends” just keeps on playing.  Then the whole concept came together this past Sunday when, Perry Emerick, Mesa CCC Campus pastor, quoted the Message Bible:  “ If you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.  (Philippians 2:1-4)

 There has been a lot of loss recently.  There are the 19 families from Yarnell, who lost family members, the people who lost homes and the businesses that were destroyed.  Passengers on a plane simply landing in San Francisco crashed, 2 people died and 6 are still in critical condition.  Then there are innocent people in Egypt (even the people who are fighting for what they believe) are dying.  Every day there are children and adults enslaved all over the world. We’ve seen bridges collapse; hurricanes destroy communities, tornadoes in the Midwest.

Here in Mesa, Arizona a part of the United States of America I have so much to be grateful for.  I have a family, a safe home, a comfortable neighborhood, and free a nation.  This morning I was even reminded it is “REALLY” (Carolyn-ism) nice to take a clean shower with fresh water before I began my day. 

So, “REALLY” (Carolyn-ism) for me means, “Hey, Carolyn, get over yourself!”

Jump in the Pool ... Another Caroly-isn

“Jump in the Pool” Another Carolyn-ism

        After last week’s Carolyn-ism “learning opportunity”, Jane Campbell, a seasoned escrow officer of 9 years, came to me and said, “Carolyn, please tell the story behind “jump in the pool.” (Carolyn-ism)  So here goes:

We call Jane, Chief Campbell, because she was in the Navy.  Jane’s first day in escrow was May 31, 2004. She had no escrow experience, but a great desire to learn and an extremely “black & white” way of approaching life. To this day Jane is one of our most “black and white” team member.   It is either right or wrong; there is no “maybe” in Jane’s world. We all love that about her.

Humor me just a moment, some of us are not familiar with military training. 

In the military when going through basic training you must pass a series of proficiency tests. One of those proficiency tests, in the Navy is for swimming.  At the end of your Navy swim week, your wonderful drill instructor looks at you and says, “Jump in the pool.” (a Carolyn-ism)  You are then expected to jump into a 30’ deep, 50 meter long pool, and tread water for 5 minutes - swim unassisted, without touching the bottom, to the other end of the pool and get out.  Fail and you repeat your swim week until you are able to pass or you’re rotated out (which means you are kicked out of the Navy).  In other words, you’ll never be a sailor until you “jump in the pool.” (Carolyn-ism)

By 2006, Jane was progressing well in her escrow career.  She was an accomplished opening technician, had gained the knowledge needed to produce the final closing documents for the consumer, answer a horde of questions all at the same time, release files for recording and even issue final checks.  Jane understood escrow.

However, Jane would not sign clients.  She said, “I can’t do it”.  My response was always, “Yes, you can.”  However, no matter how often I asked, or the diverse approaches I exhausted, Jane simply would not sign with clients.  I knew the office and Jane’s career were both handicapped until Jane changed her mind.

Then along came Ken.  For you see my husband Ken was also in the Navy, and he had some insider information.  He knew about the Navy swim test.   Ken said, “Carolyn, go in tomorrow and tell Jane, Ken says, ‘jump in the pool’.” (Carolyn-ism) 

I said, “What?”  Again, he simply said, “Tell Jane, jump in the pool.” (Carolyn-ism) Then he explained and I got it.  Jane had a fear, the fear of failure.  I think we have all been there.   Think about it, in your mind you are thinking, “What if I say the wrong thing?  What if they ask me a question I can’t answer?   What if they don’t like me?”  The list goes on and on.  However, the problem is fear often controls our actions.  We simply cannot move. 

Fear rules you.    I love what Dale Carnegie has said about fear, “You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind.” 

I love that, “fear doesn’t exist anywhere except in the mind.”  If Mr. Carnegie was correct then we can overthrow fear.  We can prepare in advance.  When faced with fear, ask these questions:

 “What is the fear?“

“What do I control?”

“What is the cause?

“Am I able to change?”

“If I change how will change affect me, my family, my work, my neighborhood, my world?”

“If I don’t change what will not changing cost me?”

So the next day armed with Ken’s phrase I walked into the office, looked at Jane and said “Jane, Ken says, ‘Jump in the pool’.” (Carolyn-ism)  Jane laughed. However she did “jump in the pool” (Carolyn-ism) and signed her first client. As a result our office has been greatly rewarded by her work over the past 9 years.

Yesterday, Debbie Flinn, Bell Mortgage, Senior Mortgage Advisor, sent me an interesting insight in the form of an email. I believe we all would benefit from her words. So I asked her if I could post her thoughts.

"Yes, it's true, the market has had a huge knee jerk reaction to what Mr. Bernacke has been stating. Our Chairman of the Federal Reserve Board has basically stated that as our economy recovers the Fed's won't have as great a need to stimulate the economy and they will taper off the QE3 program. "Quantitative Easing" (QE) is basically where the Feds have been buying mortgage backed securities (bonds) and giving low low interest rates to make the sluggish economy move. The markets are now making corrections at a rapid rate to be back in the "normal range" of interest rates for current economic conditions. We all know how fast interest rates can move upward and the downward trend is at a much slower pace.

It's a good time to start reviewing all your Pre-Qualification Letters and change the interest rates from the 3's to the 4's. Will your buyer still qualify with the higher interest rate? This is a good time to discuss with your buyer and lender what alternatives you have. Home prices are on the rise and now interest rates are doing the same thing.

Our biggest challenge in the lending world is that the general public doesn't believe that interest rates can go up a full 1%+ in 30 days, and that's exactly what has happened. We are always in an every changing market place and we typically see rates spike in the summer time since the seasonal demand is upon us. Many Americans want to move and get the kids settled into their new school before the school year starts. We are in that peak season. You have already noticed that inventory is tight with multiple offers, and of course, cash offers are king.

Please let me know if I can assist you with your clients mortgage needs.

Sincerely,
Debbie Flinn
Senior Mortgage Advisor NMLS Number 255443 Bell Mortgage
4435 E. Chandler Boulevard | Suite 130 | Phoenix, AZ 85048
480-339-8534 | Fax 602-513-7325
CELL PHONE: 602-430-7541
dflinn@bellbanks.com

How to Change Your Life

I found an article in Seeds of Success with insight from Tony Robbins:

	June 25, 2013 - Vol. 6 Issue 15
Tony Robbins: How to Change Your Life Life coach Tony Robbins has noticed patterns in what makes people succeed or fail, what makes them happy or sad, and what creates a life of meaning and fulfillment versus a life of frustration and despair. To transform yourself and your life, Robbins says: Don’t live in “No Man’s Land,” that place where you’re not really happy, but you’re not unhappy enough to do anything about it. Don’t passively accept what comes your way; drive your life toward what you really want. See things as they are, not worse. Then see it better than it is, and then make it the way you see it. Don’t avoid failure. Failure is necessary for real learning to occur. Overcoming obstacles gives us psychological strength—the very thing that forms character. Don’t focus only on achievement. Extraordinary accomplishment does not guarantee joy, happiness, love and a sense of meaning. You must also focus on fulfillment. Decide what you will no longer stand for and what you’re committed to. Clarity is power. Take massive action. You have to be willing to do the things you don’t want to do. You have to build a momentum that consistent action produces. Notice what’s working and what’s not working. When it is not working, change your approach. Keep changing until you finally achieve what you are committed to. Read more inspiration from Tony Robbins on SUCCESS.com.

Carolyn-ism

“Carolyn-ism”, What’s that?

I’ve always had little phrases (isms) I use to express myself.  My Mother often told me, as a 3 year old child I would say, “I broke it, I fix it.” 

For years people have told me, “Carolyn, you need to write this stuff down, they’re  really insightful!”  And over the years although I have given some thought to writing the isms down, I really never gave much credence to the idea until Joanna gave me her list of  Carolyn-isms.

Let me tell you about Joanna:

Joanna was, or should I say is, a rare jewel. As a recent college graduate Joanna joined the office team for a year between college and law school.  What a year!  One of the first projects Joanna and I  worked on was a very complex escrow closing with 23 title requirements.  For those of you who may not understand, a standard closing takes about 30 days and has maybe 4 to 6  title requirements.  Those being: pay current property taxes, pay current HOA dues, record the new deed and record the new deed of trust/mortgage.

When Joanna started on this title commitment she walked into my office, and said, “Carolyn, We have a problem!”  My response, “No, Joanna we have a learning opportunity!” (Joanna’s first introduction to Carolyn-ism)

You see, my dad told me years ago, “Given enough time and money we can fix anything.” (oh there’s another ism and another story).

Let me digress just a little further for you see on the day Joanna gave me her list of  Carolyn-isms I was devouring a book.   Now maybe it’s a coincidence but the name of the book is  START, it is written by Jon Acuff. It is a “don’t put me down book”. 

I love my husband Ken by the way; however, he will tell you that everyone is in trouble when I begin reading a good book.  I am worthless until I finish reading the book and START is no exception. 

The cover compels you to read.  In big bold print it says, “Punch fear in the face/Escape Average/Do Work that Matters.”  Then simply in even bigger bold red letters it says START.  (Google it, I dare you!)

Just to add to the book’s intrigue the inside front cover reads,  “One day you wake up and ask yourself, How did I get here?  You wonder if there’s a way to be more awesome, more often.  A way to punch fear in the face, escape average, and do work that matters.” 

I am real sucker for a good “hook and pitch”. Those three sentences simply set me up to dive into another wonderful read.

Jon Acuffs book is brilliant and he hit it right on. We spend our lives learning, editing, mastering, harvesting and finally when we’re ready to retire we guide.  But how do we guide sooner?   If I could, how would I take the risk? 

But I kept thinking, “What am I awesome at?  There has got to be something, after all Jon Acuff said we’ve all got something.” 

Then came the day Joanna gave me her list of Carolyn-isms, and it hit me, I knew what I would do.  I will tell the story of all those little isms.  The ones I have learned from my  Mom, Dad, and life.  The ones people I know talk about, the little phrases I use all the time. They really are Carolyn-isms. 

Well, back to Joanna, and her first ism, “learning opportunity”.

Joanna and I looked at the 23 requirements and they were daunting.  We stopped and addressed each individual requirement.  I encouraged Joanna to dissect the whole and consider each and every component independently.  Do not look a the whole, simply look at the parts. Deal with each condition.

One phone call, one fax, one email, one overnight package, one step at a time.  By utilizing a step by step process, albeit a year later, we closed escrow, and we both gained a new understanding for clearing clouds on title and enjoyed new “learning opportunities”.

I often think we become so overwhelmed by the complexity of a project (whatever the project is) that we fail to see the items we can take care of.  The things we can do today.

So, I would encourage you to look at your day.  What is today’s “learning opportunity”?

Yes, I agree today is a part of a week, a month, a year, this decade and a lifetime.  However it is one day, work on this day.  Ask yourself, “What’s today’s “learning opportunity”. What can I complete today, this week, this month, this year?  And by completing it, where will I be tomorrow, next week, next month, next year?  How many  “learning opportunities” can I add to my life?”

Again,  Joanna is a special part of my life as are all the “learning opportunities” we shared together.  Just read the words on her good bye/thank you card, “ I truly have enjoyed all of the “wonderful learning opportunities”.  I haven’t just learned escrow, but I learned what it means to be an adult and on your own with others.”

Honestly, I was and still am unaware of  how many  isms I use, but everyone around me assures me they will help me make a list because there are many.  All I can say is,  “Thanks, Joanna!”  Thanks for giving me insight into Carolyn-isms.  I am not real sure where they will end, I simply know now from where they START.

Be sure to check out Jon Acuff: http://www.jonacuff.com/stuffchristianslike

“He’s good, he’s really good!”  (Another Carolyn-ism)