"Really" (Carolyn-ism)

I have a Carolyn-ism, “REALLY!” 

I cannot say where this one originated, I simply say “REALLY” a lot.  I looked the word up.  Guess what, “REALLY” (Carolyn-ism) really means, “actually, truly, genuinely, categorically, or in reality”. 

No big surprise there.

The staff is fond of this Carolyn-ism.  However, about 3 weeks ago, “REALLY” (Carolyn-ism) began to take on new meaning.  It was a Sunday morning and Senior Pastor Cal Jernigan, Central Christian Church, introduced an idea “gratitude begins when entitlement ends”. 

I couldn’t get the idea out of my head, “Gratitude begins when entitlement ends.”  It’s been like a broken record, playing over and over in my head, reminding me just how self-consumed I am.  There are many times I say, “Carolyn, its ok! Go ahead you “REALLY” (Carolyn-ism) deserve it.”

New clothes, a raise, time off,  better home, a bigger family vacation, just $20, being skinny, a spot at the front of the checkout line, to see my children more often, spend extra time with my grandchildren, that new car, a candy bar, or simply an ice cream cone.  After all, I work “REALLY” (Carolyn-ism) hard - I’m entitled.

However, “Gratitude begins when entitlement ends” just keeps on playing.  Then the whole concept came together this past Sunday when, Perry Emerick, Mesa CCC Campus pastor, quoted the Message Bible:  “ If you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.  (Philippians 2:1-4)

 There has been a lot of loss recently.  There are the 19 families from Yarnell, who lost family members, the people who lost homes and the businesses that were destroyed.  Passengers on a plane simply landing in San Francisco crashed, 2 people died and 6 are still in critical condition.  Then there are innocent people in Egypt (even the people who are fighting for what they believe) are dying.  Every day there are children and adults enslaved all over the world. We’ve seen bridges collapse; hurricanes destroy communities, tornadoes in the Midwest.

Here in Mesa, Arizona a part of the United States of America I have so much to be grateful for.  I have a family, a safe home, a comfortable neighborhood, and free a nation.  This morning I was even reminded it is “REALLY” (Carolyn-ism) nice to take a clean shower with fresh water before I began my day. 

So, “REALLY” (Carolyn-ism) for me means, “Hey, Carolyn, get over yourself!”

Jump in the Pool ... Another Caroly-isn

“Jump in the Pool” Another Carolyn-ism

        After last week’s Carolyn-ism “learning opportunity”, Jane Campbell, a seasoned escrow officer of 9 years, came to me and said, “Carolyn, please tell the story behind “jump in the pool.” (Carolyn-ism)  So here goes:

We call Jane, Chief Campbell, because she was in the Navy.  Jane’s first day in escrow was May 31, 2004. She had no escrow experience, but a great desire to learn and an extremely “black & white” way of approaching life. To this day Jane is one of our most “black and white” team member.   It is either right or wrong; there is no “maybe” in Jane’s world. We all love that about her.

Humor me just a moment, some of us are not familiar with military training. 

In the military when going through basic training you must pass a series of proficiency tests. One of those proficiency tests, in the Navy is for swimming.  At the end of your Navy swim week, your wonderful drill instructor looks at you and says, “Jump in the pool.” (a Carolyn-ism)  You are then expected to jump into a 30’ deep, 50 meter long pool, and tread water for 5 minutes - swim unassisted, without touching the bottom, to the other end of the pool and get out.  Fail and you repeat your swim week until you are able to pass or you’re rotated out (which means you are kicked out of the Navy).  In other words, you’ll never be a sailor until you “jump in the pool.” (Carolyn-ism)

By 2006, Jane was progressing well in her escrow career.  She was an accomplished opening technician, had gained the knowledge needed to produce the final closing documents for the consumer, answer a horde of questions all at the same time, release files for recording and even issue final checks.  Jane understood escrow.

However, Jane would not sign clients.  She said, “I can’t do it”.  My response was always, “Yes, you can.”  However, no matter how often I asked, or the diverse approaches I exhausted, Jane simply would not sign with clients.  I knew the office and Jane’s career were both handicapped until Jane changed her mind.

Then along came Ken.  For you see my husband Ken was also in the Navy, and he had some insider information.  He knew about the Navy swim test.   Ken said, “Carolyn, go in tomorrow and tell Jane, Ken says, ‘jump in the pool’.” (Carolyn-ism) 

I said, “What?”  Again, he simply said, “Tell Jane, jump in the pool.” (Carolyn-ism) Then he explained and I got it.  Jane had a fear, the fear of failure.  I think we have all been there.   Think about it, in your mind you are thinking, “What if I say the wrong thing?  What if they ask me a question I can’t answer?   What if they don’t like me?”  The list goes on and on.  However, the problem is fear often controls our actions.  We simply cannot move. 

Fear rules you.    I love what Dale Carnegie has said about fear, “You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind.” 

I love that, “fear doesn’t exist anywhere except in the mind.”  If Mr. Carnegie was correct then we can overthrow fear.  We can prepare in advance.  When faced with fear, ask these questions:

 “What is the fear?“

“What do I control?”

“What is the cause?

“Am I able to change?”

“If I change how will change affect me, my family, my work, my neighborhood, my world?”

“If I don’t change what will not changing cost me?”

So the next day armed with Ken’s phrase I walked into the office, looked at Jane and said “Jane, Ken says, ‘Jump in the pool’.” (Carolyn-ism)  Jane laughed. However she did “jump in the pool” (Carolyn-ism) and signed her first client. As a result our office has been greatly rewarded by her work over the past 9 years.