Freedom to Change

For those of you who have been reading this post for a while, you’re aware that at the age of 49 I purposefully reframed my thinking.  I will be 62 in August.  Do the math - that is 13 years! 

A huge part of that “reframing” was based on “brutal facts”, an idea I learned in the Jim Collins book, “Good to Great”.

Jim says to look at the “brutal facts” not pipedreams. Know your current reality and then develop a standard of practice that will enable you to change and grow. The freedom to change is there, as Nike says, “Just do it!” 

Consider this: as a citizen of the United States we have more freedom than most others around the world.

We are guaranteed our freedom by our founding fathers in the constitution.  Take a moment and simply read what they said: 

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

Read it again!  Think about it. Now, read it once more and meditate on what this statement says to you.  You have freedom, you decide.  You may pursue happiness!

Yes, in the United States we can elect to choose what life will look like —nobody tells us, we pick.  If we’re not happy we can change. 

However with the freedom to change also comes personal responsibility.  All of us who have raised children know that.  I remember Mother saying, “Carolyn, you have no one to blame but yourself”, when I made a poor choice in personal responsibility.

Responsibility leads to methods, methods lead to practices and practices are work.

This is not easy, it takes time.  I often tell the staff, “There are no instant gardens.”

However until you take the time and develop a personal standard of practice with specific steps, and achievable action plans, you’ll stay the same.

Over the years I’ve learned what I call the principal of a “plumb line”.  

A plumb line hangs from the ceiling and is always straight---it is a standard by which decorators hang wall paper.  A plumb line is accurate (my husband, Ken taught me that).  It is a specific step a person should have in place before you start a project.  A plumb line is straight regardless of what the wall looks like, always! 

The weight (“those truths we know to be self-evident”) at the bottom of the line (our personal standard of practice) grant us opportunities (life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness).

It works for me!  Talk to you next week!

The Road to Change

In 2001, Jim Collins published that famous book “Good to Great”.  The now classic business book talks about how and why some companies excel and others fail. 

Leadership reading is a passion of mine, so I read the book.

Upon reading and studying the book I was enlightened to the idea that these same principles Jim applied to businesses could apply to me.

Maybe you’ve never thought of “Good to Great” as applying to yourself.  However, I challenge you to read this blog post and think again:  http://www.yannickvandenbos.com/hedgehog-concept-the-three-circles

Yannick explains how Jim’s three concepts intersect and then talks about how to apply the theory personally.  Think about it, why are some people simply good and others great?

Back to Jim Collins book, “Good to Great”, which by the way, I read in 2002. 

I looked at the “brutal facts” of my life.  Here are just a few:

• Fact 1 – My thinking was stale.
• Fact 2-My family was not a priority
• Fact 3-My health was out of control

I’ve got to admit, the “brutal facts” looked grim.  Yet Mr. Collins’ book made sense. 

I wanted to change and I knew that for me change was going to be hard.  I needed to be held accountable.   With the help of a personal coach I began the long process of reframing my thinking, my actions and as a result the outcome of my life.

It is interesting to me how our computer brains work, bringing forward information stored for years at just the right time. Early on,  I was reminded of a VBS children’s song, “One Day at a Time”.

“One day at a time, only one day at a time.  That is the way the Lord will lead you, one day at a time, take that one day carefully, and walk that one day prayerfully, this is the way to victory, one day at a time.”

That first year, I learned to write a life statement.  I read and studied the “how to” develop and implement SMART goals; and I began to learn how hold myself accountable my “self-proclaimed” life purpose.

Oh yeah, a real good study on Google is SMART goals. They’re simple to talk about, however not easy to consistently implement.

Twelve years later there are concepts I am beginning to understand.  Maybe I should have understood them at 49, however I did not.  It is interesting to me how very little we learn in school.  We’ll talk later!

So What Changed?

Last week’s post was fun, and you responded. Several  asked, “Carolyn, what changed?

Call it outlook, attitude, mindset, viewpoint, standpoint, posture, paradigm,  my bearings—all  of those apply.

Life, I’ve come to understand is a “crazy cycle”.  We get up, go through our day, go home, cook dinner, do laundry, interact with the family, go to bed and get up the next day,  to the same old thing.  We live Bill Murray’s life from “Ground Hog’s Day”.

Physically I could lose 50-60lbs - I knew that.  I would gain it back, I knew that, then I’d lose it again.  CRAZY!

I read great books and have learned some grand concepts. “Rich Dad, Poor Day”,  “Left Brain Thinking in a Right Brain World”. Classics like “7 Habits of Highly Effective People”; "Think & Grow Rich”; “How to Win Friends & Influence People” .  All these books have very impressive ideas. All you need to do is drink the Kool Aid and life’s perfect.  Then your motivation wanes you miss one day and ----

You get the picture!

There was no heart attack, stroke, traumatic loss, nothing ghastly happened. I simply reached a point  in life where I understood, “nothing changes when nothing changes”.

Change is hard, really hard.  Staying on track is a moment by moment decision, even to this day.  A book I recently read touts that 60 days is all it takes to form a habit. Not a problem!  Don’t believe it, change is an act of the will, and I can’t speak for you, but I have a very stubborn will.  I was 49 years old when I made a conscious decision to change my thinking. So anything short of 49 years is a blessing for me when it comes to the redevelopment process.  

So, here’s what I did to expedited my internal computer:

I hired a coach, a mentor, some would say an accountability partner! Yes, someone not emotionally attached to me and it cost money. 

I’ve learned I need help to in a world of constant change.  There were and are modifications I did and still consider. Someone needed to ask the tough questions and hold me accountable to my responses. 

I’ll never forget the first thing Coach Joy had me account for. It was my current reality.

And, oh by the way, there are no pat answers with a coach. Coaches don’t want to hear what the book says, they simply want to know what you are willing to do.

I picked where we started. I developed a life statement, I formulated the action plan, I implemented the specific steps. Joy held me accountable to my change process.

Yes, the first plan took a year and there was not a lot of physical change. 

I love what Jim Collins says in the book,  “Good to Great”.  Face the “brutal facts”.

Simple, not easy!  We’ll talk more next week. 

Just Little Changes Over Time

Daily quiet time enables me to stay grounded and grow personally.  I am so very lucky I have a spouse, family, and staff who understand that.

 
This year I added reading to my five year daily “quiet time” habit. Right  now I am digesting a book my son, Cory recommended entitled, “Myths to Live By”.

The classic work is a look at Joseph Campbell’s personal life philosophy. His work actually intensifies for me just how dramatically my personal faith has grown and how much  has changed in the past 15 years.

Everything has changed for me.  The way I look, the way I process  information, my emotional stamina even my relationship with others.  Ask anyone who really “knows me” and they will tell you, “there are some huge changes.” 

When I think about it, you know, I’d love others to be wiser than me.

That being said, listen to the words of “The Teacher”,  King Solomon, a very wise man from the Bible.  In chapter 12 of Ecclesiastes he says:

1 Don't let the excitement of youth cause you to forget your Creator. Honor him in your youth before you grow old and no longer enjoy living. 2 It will be too late then to remember him, when the light of the sun and moon and stars is dim to your old eyes, and there is no silver lining left among the clouds. 3 Your limbs will tremble with age, and your strong legs will grow weak. Your teeth will be too few to do their work, and you will be blind, too. 4 And remember Him before the door of life’s opportunities is closed and the sound of work fades.  Now you rise at the first chirping of the birds, but then all their sounds will grow faint, 5 You will be afraid of heights and of falling, white-haired and withered, dragging along without any sexual desire. You will be standing at death's door. And as you near your everlasting home, the mourners will walk along the streets. 6 Yes, remember your Creator now while you are young, before the silver cord of life snaps and the golden bowl is broken. Don't wait until the water jar is smashed at the spring and the pulley is broken at the well. 7 For then the dust will return to the earth, and the spirit will return to God who gave it.  

Personal change is huge! It takes commitment and time.

Attached to today’s blog are two pictures. The first was taken in San Francisco, I believe the  year was 2002.  This is the woman my children called Mom.  The second was taken at the office this week. She’s  the one I want my grandchildren to remember.

 

 

 



San Francisco 2002



May 2014