Welcome to the latest edition of our irregular and irreverent newsletter. Thanks for being one of more than 100,000 people around the world who subscribe.
In this issue, you’ll find a list of my 10 favorite books of the year — along with advice on how not to get conned.
Let’s get started.
MY 10 FAVORITE BOOKS OF THE YEAR
Okay, every other “media outlet” is assembling its end-of-year best books list. Why not the Pink newsletter? Herewith, in alphabetical order by author, the 10 most compelling books I read this year.
The Light of the World: A Memoir
by Elizabeth Alexander
In 1996, Alexander, a well-known poet, met Ficre Ghebreyesus, a chef originally from Eritrea. Within a few weeks, they decided to get married. Within three years, they had two sons. Then in 2012, Ficre dropped dead of a heart attack. Alexander’s account of her grief is riveting. I read nearly the entire book in one sitting.
Unfair: The New Science of Criminal Justice
by Adam Benforado
Law professor Benforado argues that our legal system is built on assumptions about human behavior that just aren’t true. Some examples: Eyewitness testimony is utterly unreliable, yet we use it to convict people. Human beings stink at detecting lies, yet jurors think they’re great at it. And, amazingly, false confessions are quite easy to produce. This book deserved way more attention than it received.
Friend & Foe: When to Cooperate, When to Compete, and How to Succeed at Both
by Adam Galinsky and Maurice Schweitzer
You might remember this one from the 4Q4 this duo did for this newsletter. This is a smart, practical book that lives up to its promise to help you become “a better friend and more formidable foe."
Fates and Furies
by Lauren Groff
Whenever a book gets as much acclaim as this one — glowing reviews, a National Book Award nomination, even a Presidential endorsement — I become a bit skeptical. But this fast-paced literary novel, which tells the story of a marriage from two contrasting perspectives, deserves every plaudit. It’s gobsmackingly good.
How to Raise An Adult
by Julie Lythcott-Haims
Another 4Q4 book. Former Stanford Dean of Freshmen Lythcott-Haims aims her howitzer at helicopter parents — and teaches us how to trust our kids.
The Road Not Taken: Finding America in the Poem Everyone Loves and Almost Everyone Gets Wrong
by David Orr
You wouldn’t think an book-length dissection of Robert Frost’s “two roads diverged in a yellow wood” poem would be a great read. But Orr’s book is a gem — wise, funny, and insightful.
Are You Fully Charged?: The 3 Keys to Energizing Your Work and Life
by Tom Rath
This slim book packs a massive punch. Rath, who has a string of culture-shifting bestsellers, harvests a trove of science to explain the importance of pursuing meaning, improving your interactions, and taking common-sense steps to boost your energy.
Infamy: The Shocking Story of Japanese American Internment in World War II
by Richard Reeves
Shortly after the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor 50 years ago, the U.S. government rounded up more than 100,000 Japanese-Americans and incarcerated them at "relocation centers.” This remains one of the most disgraceful episodes in American history. I read this back in April, but Reeves’s elegantly told tale has new relevance today as some of the very same xenophobia and racism rear their heads again.
The Arab of the Future: 1978 to 1984
by Riad Sattouf
Young Riad has a French mother, a Syrian father, and a head of shockingly blond hair. In this graphic novel he tells the story of his early childhood. Fans ofPersepolis will love this one.
The Speechwriter: A Brief Education in Politics
by Barton Swaim
A regular guy leaves academia to become a speechwriter for the Governor of South Carolina. Complications ensue. This chronicle — at once hilarious and sad — is the best book on politics I’ve read in years.
HOW TO OUTSMART TRICKSTERS, FRAUDS, AND CON ARTISTS
4 QUESTIONS FOR MARIA KONNIKOVA
Have you ever been conned? Chances are, you said no. And chances are, you’re wrong. Human beings — including smarty-pants humans like you and me — turn out to be incredibly susceptible to trickery, deceit, and flim-flammery. That’s one message of The Confidence Game: Why We Fall For It Every Time (Buy it:Amazon | BN.Com | IndieBound), a great new book coming out in a few weeks from New Yorker writer Maria Konnikova. In this elegantly written and deeply researched work, Maria uses confidence games as a window to understanding human behavior and cognition — especially our hard-wired desire to believe and our tendency to confirm our existing beliefs and to discard contrary evidence.
I asked Maria to give us a preview by being our latest participant in 4Q4, a regular feature where I ask authors four questions about their book — the same four questions every time.
1. Maria, what’s the big idea?
At its core, The Confidence Game is about the nature of belief: why we believe the things we do, how our beliefs are formed, and why they are so persistent. Human nature craves meaning—and good con artists are only too happy to provide that meaning for us. They are experts at reading our deepest desires and at crafting a version of reality that makes those desires seem possible, even likely. Every single one of us is a potential victim, because every single one of us carries a deep-rooted need to believe in a better, or at the least, most logical, version of the world. And the more immune and urbane we think we are, the more likely we are to fall for the grifter’s wiles.
2. How do you know?
Over three years, I interviewed dozens of conmen and their victims, learning their stories and discerning patterns in their experiences, comparing them to grifters of yore to see whether the essence of the confidence man remains the same in the twenty-first century as it was hundreds of years ago. I supplemented those interviews with hundreds of psychological studies, ranging from work on psychopathy and narcissism to research into our self-serving biases to experiments on how beliefs are formed and how we perceive and interpret reality.
3. Why should I care?
All of us come face to face with potential cons on a daily basis: that weight-loss product that will let you lose the last few pounds with little effort, that multi-hundred dollar face cream that will make you look ten years younger, the street hustler who has lost his wallet, the brilliant investor who will make you rich, the love of your life waiting just on the other side of OkCupid. This book will teach you how to spot them—and how to know yourself well enough to recognize when you just might be falling for wishful thinking.
4. What should I do?
There are a number of steps you can take to both recognize a con in progress and improve your ability to avoid getting conned. Some examples:
— Learn how some of the most common persuasion tactics work, such as the foot-in-the-door (someone will ask you for something small, and then work up to a much bigger request) or the door-in-the-face (someone will ask you for something big, you will of course say no, but then you’ll feel guilty—and be much more likely to say yes next time around, which is what the con artist was counting on all along).
— Learn to recognize the things that can be easily manipulated to make you like and trust someone, like familiarity (you’ve seen them around before, or they seem to know someone you know…think of all the Facebook friend requests from friends-of-friends who seem trustworthy by virtue of that connection) and the chameleon effect (they seem like you, in beliefs, background, and actions).
— Set limits and learn to exit any situation with grace. Many of us fall for cons because we don’t know how to say no without losing face once we’re hooked part-way. Pre-commit yourself to certain limits, and have a goal-oriented action plan for possible interactions (If I am asked to do this, then I will respond by politely saying that I can’t, for this reason…).
More: The Confidence Game: Why We Fall For It Every Time
That’s all for this edition and for 2015. As always, thanks for reading our humble newsletter. Have a healthy, happy, and hopeful New Year.
Cheers,
Daniel Pink
