BAKE COOKIES!

Have you ever taught children to bake cookies? I have! (The boys in the pictures are my grandsons.)

Children  love to  bake cookies and they love to help. They don’t question.  

Given the opportunity children dump everything together. They don’t care. Wet, dry, sugar, flour - it’s all the same to them.  

We have a holiday cookie recipe called “Texas Tea Cakes”, and it’s a great kid cookie.  

2 eggs, 1 cup butter, 1 cup of sugar, 1 teaspoon vanilla; 1 teaspoon of baking power, 1 teaspoon of salt; 3  to 3 ½ cups flour, just mix it all together,  and  plunk  it down onto the counter.  Add enough flour by kneading  the dough until it feels like play dough, then bake the cookies at 325 degrees until they are firm to the touch.  

When our daughter, Karen was a kid she really did bake these cookies in her Easy Bake Oven.

Texas Tea Cakes have been cooked on open fires and in convection ovens. They work!

However, when I try to teach adults how to make these cookies, I am consistently bombarded with questions.

“Well do I cream the butter and eggs together before I add the sugar?  Or about how thick do I roll them? Finally, when do I know  they are done?”

Adults and children are very different. Neither is right or wrong; we’re just different. For adults something has happened to our willingness to experiment.  

Adults  are self directed while children are more free with accepting new ideas. Adults want a specific, measurable plan. We want to know how long to cream the sugar, when to add the flour, and what the finished cookie should look like.  

Adults challenge new information, children accept it! Adults will ask questions like, “How did  those cookies turn out for you?" before they even buy the ingredients to make the cookies. Children just have fun.

Adults look for immediate return. Children engage without worrying about the how they will use what they are learning. Think about when you memorized your multiplication tables.

As adults I believe we should think responsibly. When you don’t follow the directions your cookie may not turn out. However sometimes, I also think we should be like young children simply trust our learning environment.

Children experiment a lot and I believe we can learn from kids.   

To keep in line with today’s blog thinking, we should experiment, learn and bake cookies!

And oh by the way, let me know how your cookies turn out!

Who Moved My Cheese?

Do you remember the book,  “Who Moved My Cheese?” by Spencer Johnson?  It’s that 1990’s business classic on change.

In the story  two mice (Scurry and Sniff) and two little people (Hem and Haw) are faced with change and what they will do or will not do with change! The bottom line really is, change and survive or die. Some of the characters in the book came to that understanding earlier than others.

Tom Butler Bowdon, in his Success Classics blog has this to say about the Johnson book:

The fable captures well that moment after we have lost a job or a relationship and we believe it is the end of the world. All the good things were in the previous situation, and all the future holds is fear. Yet Johnson's message is, instead of seeing change as the end of something, we must learn to see it as a beginning. We have all been told this, but sometimes motivation is lacking. To make himself accept reality, Haw writes this on the wall of the maze: "If you do not change, you can become extinct."

As Johnson teaches, there are three stages of change.  

1. Preparing for change
2. gaining the change skills you need 
3. achieving your change

Don’t get me wrong. Change is hard, really, really hard! However, change is inevitable, things simply never remain the same, in today’s world we are always changing.

Aunt Knoxine reminded me of that.  Aunt Knoxine is my Dad’s sister, I have loved her all my life. Secretly I always wanted to be her daughter. She and Mother would line all the cousins up in a straight line and ask perfect strangers who belonged to whom. Most of the time I ended up with Aunt Knoxine.  

Life was not easy for Aunt Knoxine. She was a single mom for many years, taught kindergarten, raised three children and remained faithful to life.  

This past weekend she and I were on the phone and she said, “Carolyn, I have changed more in the last twenty years than any other time I can remember in life!”

Aunt Knoxine is a wise woman. She is open to listen to varied opinions and try to understand different belief systems, she is non judgmental. She loves life and people. She has traveled all over the world - she tries new food, reads contemporary material, studies fresh ideas. She is very open. Aunt Knoxine is a changeling.

I want that! When I am 89 I hope I tell my niece Kristen the same thing.

Life is about risk and it’s about change. It is about letting go and adapting.  

Be willing to  look at what changes you need to make ‘cause your cheese is being moved every day.

FINISHERS

Over the years I have been asked, “Carolyn, what do you look for in someone to add to your team?

Opening, processing and closing escrow files is simply a task.  Tasks can and should be taught.  Tasks are not the central mission of our team. We look for the desire to serve others and finish the job - these are our critical aspects.

There are lots of new ideas and concepts.  Idea people are easy to find; however, what ultimately matters is can it go from concept to completion.   

Reality in the escrow industry “Nobody gets paid until the file is funded and recorded.”  Finishers are who I look for.

Years ago I added one, an anchor, to the Stapley Center Organization.  Her name - Jane Campbell.  

Jane started as a contract employee (low pay, no benefits) in May 2004, the Friday before Memorial Day.  I simply told her,  “Answer the phones and DO NOT disturb me.”  (I have grown softer in my old age).

Any questions about funding went to the closer and for all calls she was simply to take messages! NO EXCEPTIONS.

At the end of the day I asked Jane, “So do you want to come back?”  She said yes, and needless to say she’s been with me ever since.

Jane explains:

“One of my fondest memories of escrow is when Carolyn finally “talked” me into taking signings for buyers and sellers. For the longest time she couldn’t get me to take a signing, I managed to come up with one reason or another.  Finally she asked her husband, Ken how to get me to take a signing. Ken told her she had to tell me to “jump in the pool”.  Having been in the Navy, Ken knew that in order to graduate boot camp you had to pass a swim test that had several requirements. When Carolyn came into work and told me to ‘jump in the pool” I knew that I had to take signings. I had the knowledge just not the confidence. Needless to say, I have jumped in the pool more times than I like to think about but learning new things is always good.  Every day I learn something new.

All of my previous jobs I dealt with customer service in some form or another, even working in the weather office when I was in the Navy.  Escrow is not any different. Customers are customers wherever you go.  How you choose to deal with them is what makes you who you are.”

Jane is one of those folks who is intrinsically wired to make things happen and bulldog their way to the finish line. She finds joy in checking things off the list.

I would encourage you to take a moment and think about your team.  Do you have a Jane? We all need a person with her giftedness. If you do not have one, go find one.

PATTERNS

Have you ever given any thought to a  pattern?  

With good a pattern homes are built, lives constructed, industries established, countries formed, cars run and software programs are successful.

Good patterns work. On the other hand, an incomplete pattern may mean a dress may not come together, cakes tend to fall, and pool pumps simply don't work.

We live with patterns although they are often referred to as “my routine”.  

There is the morning routine. Wake up, brush teeth, get dressed, and go to work. There is the lunch routine. Stop by the nearest fast food joint, grab lunch and off again. And there is the night routine. Get home, turn on the television to catch the latest terrorists attack, dig into the refrigerator to see what leftovers there are, check Facebook and fall into bed.

Probably not the advantageous pattern to live by, however for many it is simply a mode of life..

I am not the very best in the world, however several years ago I realized that life is what I make of it, so I set out to reshape my patterns.

Mornings are my private time. I intentionally exercise and meditate. Lunches are a more healthy time; most days I pack my lunch from home. And evenings are family time: Ken and I unpack our day and many evenings sit on the patio, no TV.

The book “Start With Why” by Simon Sinek (TedTalk here) helped me to put into perspective my why, my how and finally my what. The book is rich in content and is a very good reminder if we do not purposefully work on our why, our what and the how get in the way.

So why start with why?

For me the answer was not difficult. I love helping people.

I enjoy seeing and being with people when they reach life goals. I love assisting a family in the purchase of their new home; a contractor in a remodel; a business owner in securing an SBA loan. I also love to see children graduate from school after overcoming odds, or babies who are taking a first step or learning to swim in my backyard pool. It jazzes me to see someone be able to solve an escrow problem after we have learned the process together.

What I do does not matter. I simply love helping people and that is my why.

So I would encourage you to look at the patterns you are currently using - are you happy with them? Are you fulfilling your ultimate why in life?  If not change them, figure it out, you can do it. Always start with your why and then work on your what, and your how, not the other way around.

So, what are you reading?

This week Ken and I are in Palmer, Alaska.

So far we have attended the Alaska State Fair, climbed the Butte (a 1.2 mile hike inclusive of 420 steps - 26 flights), eaten at the local pub; rested and read.

Annually during these weeks we simply step away and contemplate what we’ve learned and how we can better serve. It is an adult time out.

We are often asked: "So what are you reading?"

Just before leaving Arizona for Alaska Ken read The Final Frontiersman.  The book is an account of Hemo Korth.   Written by James Campbell, Hemo lives in the Arctic National Wildlife.  For those of you who may wonder Palmer, Alaska is nothing like the wilderness.

Ken loves accounts of real life.  It is fun to share the stories he reads.

On the other hand, my passion is leadership and understanding relationships.  With that in mind I wanted to share some of the books and authors we both have recently learned from.

One of the most interesting arenas we recently become aware of is the study of the mind and human emotions.  How does this work?

Our IQ is developed during our teenage years; however our EQ (Emotional Intelligence) can be cultivated throughout our adult life.  Pick up the book Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves and take the Emotional Intelligence Appraisal.

Another area that has captured my personal attention is happiness.  

There is a little book entitled Happiness:  The Science Behind Your Smile by Daniel Nettle, published by the Oxford University.  It is a real thought provoker.

Two of our favorite authors, Patrick Lencioni and Henry Cloud have also written new books.  Dr. Henry Cloud’s is The Power of the Other and Patrick’s book is a precursor to The Five Dysfunctions of A Team entitled The Ideal Team Player.  Team members need to be humble, hungry and smart.

The next read is very foundational.

It’s called Start with Why, by Simeon Sinek.  This is another Good  to Great read.  For those of you who have not read Jim Collins business classic, read it first!  

However in Start with Why, Sinek argues that if we understand our why we are in business and do not lose focus we can accomplish our what.  When our why becomes fuzzy what simply does not matter.  It is only a matter of time before we become antiquated.

My cousin, Kaye Campbell’s daughter , Susan Kaye Quinn, writes speculative fiction.  She is a former rocket scientist and I want to read her book Open Minds.

So this fall, read, study and acquire wisdom through knowledge.

Re-Calibration

We live in a reactionary society.  We tend to simply respond to our environment.  

This past weekend I was sick thus forced to stay home, rest, and recover.  As such one activity was to watch the movie, Everest.

Sometime back I read the book Into Thin Air, about this 1996 climb.  From my experience, the book is always better than the movie.

Having read Jon Krakauer’s account I knew the May 1996 outcome. That year, 8 people died on the mountain, including the mountain guides Rob Hall and Andy Harris.  The book and the movie allege that essential safety methods in place for years were simply ignored by the guiding agencies - everyone wanted to be the first to reach the top!  

After watching the movie I had cause to ask myself, “What are my safety methods, where are my non-negotiables?”  

These are this year’s retreat questions. Yes, it is that time of the year again.

Ken and I finally will be able to spend 10 days out of the heat.  Oh and yes, we are going to Alaska.   

Lately lots of people have been asking me “Carolyn, when are you retiring?”  

Let me set the record straight. Retiring is not my current undertaking, nor is it in the near future.  My current enterprise is to nurture knowledge and understanding of today’s business world. I want to assist Realtors, Lenders, and all our staff at Great American to grow as we learn to service the southeast valley real estate market together.

Do you know there are five business generations working together in the business world today and we all process information differently?  Nobody is right, nobody is wrong - we simply are different.

Years ago, I learned to keep me learning an annual re-calibration retreat is a necessity.

Re-calibrate means to “make small changes to an instrument so that it measures accurately”. 

Say the word “instrument” and my mind goes to method.  

And for me a measure is an “evaluation”.  

Therefore, this annual re-calibration is simply a method to evaluate the: who, what, when, where and how to keep us going and growing.

I do not want to get into an Everest experience where you cannot beat the odds - that’s foolish. If the need for speed had not influenced Rob and Andy, I believe they would be alive today.

Thus annually I step back and evaluate.  It is not what you proclaim to people it’s the action you take. All too often a clear sense of the action is best viewed from a distance.

Lean in, Listen and Learn

August is the Willow Creek Leadership Conference.

I really look forward to this event.  It is an opportunity to sit back and absorb; lean in, listen and learn.

One of the speakers again this year was Patrick Lencioni.  There have been some very valuable takeaways from past years with Patrick.  Patrick works around the world to develop teams.  There are some very basic foundational concepts with teams to understand.  Those principals are in his book, Five Dysfunctions of a Team.  

Teams trust one another. They engage in unfiltered conflict around ideas.  They commit to decisions and plans of actions. They hold one another accountable for delivering against those plans. They focus on the achievement of collective results.  

These fundamentals are not easy to achieve.

This year Mr. Lencioni introduced some new absolutes. Teams are built from people and there are some givens we need to seek when adding to a team.  These three principles are discussed in what he calls a precursor to five dysfunctions in his new book, The Ideal Team Player.

Yes, we bought the book!  

Additionally we were able to hear, Melinda Gates, Co-Chair of the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation.  Her call is for an equitable world . The statistics she shared about how women in Nairobi or Bangladesh are changing their communities with just a little help are unbelievable.

Alan Mulally, President and Chief Executive Officer of the Ford Motor Company from 2006 to 2014 spoke about the norms he has implemented in his leadership at both Ford and Boeing.  Remember Ford was the only major US car manufacturer  who did not take money in the bail out!

Horst Schulze, CEO, Capella Hotel Group; Founding President, The Ritz-Carlton Group, talked about making sure you know where and what costs you can cut.

Chris McChesney, Executive at Franklin Covey who is a Wall Street Journal #1 national bestselling author of the book, 4 Disciplines of Execution  reminded me to focus on the wildly important.

The insights simply kept coming.  As I unpack, read, study and implement these concepts over the next several months I will share them on the blog.  

In short reflection the speakers and motivators were saying  the very simple principle:  “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you!”  Not difficult to understand, hard  play out in life.

Ken and I are in Alaska the last week of August and we purposefully plan to schedule time to both reflect and develop a blueprint allowing us to serve others  more in 2017.

Back to School

It is hard to believe - it’s August and Arizona’s back to school. Educational learning is vital to making it in today’s world.

Ken and I concluded our  formal education years ago. However, today we are committed to continually grow as individuals.  Independent studies allow us to have a stronger more vibrant interdependent relationship.

We accomplish this through self-discipline and  the use of lots tools we have at our disposal. We read, listen, study and  attend small discussion groups as well as major conferences.  We’ve learned we must be open to change.

This week we are both attending the Willow Creek Leadership Conference.

It is sad to me when I hear someone say “I’ve not read a book since I graduated” and  “I don’t attend seminars”.

According to Wikipedia  “continuing education should be a part of everyone’s lifestyle." In the spring of 2009, Eduventures, a higher education consulting firm, released the results of a study that illustrated that the recession had made a significant impact on the views of prospective continuing education students. A survey of 1,500 adults who planned to enroll in a course or program within the next two years determined that while nearly half of respondents believed that the value of education had risen due to the recession, over two-thirds said the state of the economy had affected their plans to pursue continuing education.

That last sentence in the above paragraph is what I really struggle with.  In today’s world you do not have to spend money to benefit from continuing education. 

There are so many ways to increase your knowledge and personal understanding without ever leaving home.

A quick look on the internet introduced me to this site:  https://www.diygenius.com/100-self-education-resources-for-lifelong-learners/

And if you are reading this you have access to the internet. 

Rather than watching NCIS or America’s Got Talent, why not spend an hour listening to a TED talk or reading a personal development book 

My belief is kids go back to school, so should we. 

So in conclusion, the  world around you takes advantage of today’s technology, what’s it going to take for you to do the same?  

Find a spot and gain some great educational insight; add to your personal understanding of life, you will be better for it.

It's a Funk

Do you ever get in a funk? I do.

There are days when all I want to do  is to sit and do nothing!

No exercise!  Eat whatever I want when I want!!  I do not want to read, study, or be sociable!!!   I simply want to feel sorry for myself. If I were a kid I would suck my thumb.

So out of curiosity, I  looked up the word funk. Guess what I  discovered?

The British definition for funk is a coward.  Well that did not go over well with me so I looked further only to discover - when used as a verb it means to avoid a task or thing out of fear. 

Ok. That’s not much better, but over the years I have learned  how to overcome fear.

You know: the  fear of failure, fear of the unknown, fear of feeling overwhelmed, or  simply the fear of not being good enough.

I have learned that fear is an automatic response of my brain. The source is a tiny part of my brain called the  amygdala.  The amygdala creates my "fight or flight  response".  It is primitive, automatic and inborn. 

WOW!  So a funk is something that can and should be worked through.

Well that’s pretty simple, not easy, but simple.  Just do it!  So when I apply the methodology I  learned  in  overcoming fear it’s possible to overcome a  funk.  

In other words  be  SMART.

Develop a specific plan, implement actions that are measurable and attainable.  Be realistic with the activities and time frame.

Then it occurred to me, Mother used this ideology when I was growing up.  She taught me systems, how to overcome  obstacles, and even work when  I did not want to.

Maybe your life was similar to mine.

Mother used a  star chart on the refrigerator door. There was the immediate reward  of putting a star on the chart and the intermediate reward of counting how many more were needed to  reach the special reward. Remember the  special treat,  new  socks,  getting to pick the show for family movie night, or the grand prize of going on  date all by yourself with  Dad?

Funny as it sounds the  same process works for adults in overcoming a funk. 

So, if you are in a funk, develop a system and go for it!