It Keeps Me Up at Night

It never ceases to amaze me what wakes me up at night. 

Believe it or not, I woke up the other evening thinking about coaches.  Yes I said coaches.  Football, business, life, Mom’s, Dad’s in my dream there were coaches here, there, everywhere. Big ones, small ones, tall ones, short ones---old ones,  young ones, happy, cranky---they were all there in my dream.

When I actually  remembered my dream I realized coaches are simply people.  Coaches  have temperaments, personalities, and skill sets just like the rest of us.  Coaches fall into profiles.  

We have coaches who simply tell it like it is;  coaches  who rally around us;  and there are group coaches for accountability.

 You might say they could be straight forward, mutually supporting; or even interdependent on us.

In my life it has often  taken one, two or even a combination of all three coaching styles to help me reach benchmarks.

People have asked me  “Well, Carolyn, how do you find the right coach?”.  My answer depends upon how stubborn I am  to change, and what my cost for not changing is.

Experience has taught me, change is never easy!

My first personal coach was Joy.   She taught me to develop a life statement along with some valuable habits at a beneficially critical time.   Joy became a real good friend and the perfect first accountable coach.

Levi, is my current fitness coach.  He is a no nonsense guy with a  “get it done” attitude.  Levi doesn’t  listen to me whine.  Mornings in the gym are  “do or do not do, there is no try”.

Ken is probably my best inter-active coach.  He and I made a conscious decision 43 years ago to “do life together”.  We project, plan implement, evaluate (CANI) and regroup.  We work at it all day long, every day and will until the Lord takes one of us home.

I’ve learned that as long as I am breathing I  need a coach.  Someone to help me plan, grow, and live pro-actively.

I challenge you to stop this week think deeply about coaches.  Do you need help to figure out:  1) Where I’m at right now?  2) Am I  happy?  (If not what do you need  to change)  3)  How do I  implement a plan  to become a pro-action-airy (Maybe I just made that word up). 

Dig deeply into you!

Find someone to drill it into your head, a friend to simply come along side you to be an ally, or work with the love of your life (parents, children, and spouses) to become your best!

Life is full of surprises.

Last week our office hosted valley wide events for MichaelMaher’s Generosity Generation.  We heard that who, what, when, where, and how we respond matter.

This week we’re privileged to help with the 9/11 HealingFields at Tempe Town Lake as our nation prepares to honor its’ fallen heroes lost 13 years ago.

I am also very aware of families who lost so much within a mile of the GAT Stapley Office.  As of the writing of this blog, there are families still without electricity, their homes full of mud and water, and no idea how they will fix it all.  At the same time there are neighbors who are helping clean, tear out drywall, and feed children.

It is interesting as Mr. Maher said last week, “This nation is a nation of generous responders”.  We respond when there is need.  We are to be commended for that, I simply wonder what happened to courteous, gracious and being amiable as a routine part of life.

Many of you know I grew up in Texas.  My Mother and Dad taught me to be “kind and well-mannered” as a purposeful practice not simply in response to great need.

We were trained to make first impressions matter. “Yes”; “please”; “thank-you”; “May I”; “No, thank you”; and “I’m sorry” were common place in our daily conversation.

Gentlemen and young men said, “Let me get that door for you!” Girls and ladies said, “Thank you!”. We were grateful for other people. Children were taught to yield to someone else’s need.

We were careful in what, in how and to whom we communicated.

I’d love to get back to those days.

This week I want my verbal communication to be uplifting; my written communication in letters, cards, and memos to matter; my electronic communication via, the internet, Facebook, or Messenger to have encouraging words.  When I Skype I want others to know they really matter to me, ‘cause guess what they do.

Here in the United States there are telephones, cell phones, fax machines, computers, television and even radio.  We communicate all the time. 

We move so very fast and often we do not take the time to think about what we said. Nor do we consider to whom we said it.  Or for that matter how it impacts the receiver.

As Michael Maher said, “Communication is all about the response”.  I want people to know I have a high opinion of each person I touch and that I do admire those who step out and are generous to the needs of others.

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Do You Trust What You Know?

Trust and knowledge are two interesting words. 

By definition trust means “to rely upon or place confidence in someone or something”.

On the other knowledge is an “acquaintance with facts, truths, or principles, as from study or investigation”.

This past Saturday I was reminded of how trust and knowledge intersect ---

Here’s the story:

My honeysuckle needs water, lots of water! 

In Arizona the best way to kill anything is simply don’t water it.  I know this.  I trust Ken to have our sprinkler system on every day.  I was unaware (knowledge) we had a major pipe break in the watering system and so no automatic water. 

A lack of communication between Ken and I almost killed my favorite plant.

Once discovered it was an easy fix.  Turn the hose on!  Within 30 minutes the honeysuckle sprang back to life.

Trust and knowledge go hand in hand.  When you lack one or the other stuff suffers.

This morning I was again reminded of how much trust and knowledge crisscross, and I want to share my knowledge about someone I trust.

I attended an event and heard Michael J. MaherSeven Levels of Communication known as America's Most Referred Real Estate Professional, speak. Michael owns one of the top real estate companies in Kansas City. He receives over 500 referrals and averages over 200 transactions per year.  He is system driven.  He has a great deal of knowledge and people trust him.

His book (7L) TheSeven Levels of Communication: Go from Relationships to Referrals has been on the National Best-seller List for OVER 150 DAYS!

It became a best-seller after only 7 days, an incredible feat considering Chicken Soup for the Soul by Mark Victor Hanson and Jack Canfield took over a year to be a best-seller!

What makes this story even more phenomenal is that 100% of the sales of (7L) have been by word of mouth, by referral. That means no e-mail blast, no advertising, no promotions and no direct mail.

Michael is here and he is sharing his knowledge with others.  It’s free and I believe you would benefit from hearing him. Click on the below and register to hear Michael, you’ll gain some knowledge from someone I know you can trust. 

To attend one of his GREAT events this week in Arizona, please click on the link below.

LINK: www.GenGenEvents.com

Disciplines

There are all types of disciplines.  They include spiritual, mental, emotional and physical  to name four.  Some disciplines are more natural, tangible, refined, and pure. Others are painstaking difficult, demanding and challenging. 

Since 2001 I have implemented discrete disciplines at different times and although it was never easy I have experienced  positive impact with each new discipline. The phrase “minor changes have major impact” really does apply.

So here’s a new minor change I want to lead into a life long discipline.

This past Saturday,  I attended a Nutrition Mastermind Seminar, sponsored by  my personal trainer, Levi Schnapp, owner of Elite Fitness.

Let me tell you a little bit about our gym.  It’s small, and there’s lots of accountability.  It is near my house, so it’s also really HARD for me to skip out.  I have committed to three days a week.

Our gym board reads:            

“Anyone can make you sweaty or sore, not everyone can make you better.”

Here are some Levi-isms:

• DO OR DO NOT DO, THERE IS NO TRY!
• Burpees really are the best all round exercise for EVERYONE.

Oh, just a side note:  

I am student of  life, change, growth, and development.   I get a kick out of course corrections and accomplishments. Annually, I set goals.  My 2014-2015 Personal Alaskan Purpose Driven Goal is, “Implement a Personal Nutrition Discipline That Works for Me”. Levi, knew nothing of my decision and I knew nothing of the Nutrition Mastermind! Interesting isn’t it.

So, last Saturday I sat on the floor listening to the nutritionist, Mel, talk about macros and micros, drinking water, and tracking food.  It was then that some key common elements went off in my brain.

Consistency and accountability, two concepts I have adopted in other life arenas, so why not in my health account. I know that only 5% of people actually change---95% of us go back to our old patterns, but 5% of us do change.  I want to be in the change group.

I will work this year to understand the biology of my body.  Feed myself proper nutrition and reach my stated intent. Eat, drink and track with a purpose.   Yes I have fears, I know it will be hard, I will get side tracked. But, my desire is still the same.  Live life to the fullest.  Use things (even nutrition) and love people (even me).

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Alaska was wonderful. The days were cold, wet, and relaxed!

Ken caught a literally a boat load of fish, the grandchildren loved spending the night, and the house is almost finished.

I unplugged and simply imagined what we as an office will accomplish over this next year by helping others.

When I got back Monday to my delight the gang reached some great heights even in my absence.  

Yes, I do understand how really lucky I am --- Our team is a healthy haven where people grow, care and understand each other. 

We understand dysfunction, politics and confusion.  We work hard to make sure we do not have those present in our atmosphere. 

While I was in Alaska the team faced some long days, and challenging files. 

There were commercial files that needed to close quickly, residential files with title concerns, vacant land files (that needed surveys) and REO files with their own set of learning opportunities. 

Just an FYI:  The staff recently took a DISC profile and we really did learn how much each of us really wants and likes control! 

However these eleven purpose driven women (for those of you who may not understand purpose driven --- the staff calls me “Queen Bee” of purpose driven. I tend to like things my way.)  And ONE lone guy pulled together and got the job done, on time every time.

Yes, there were times of intense discussion, but this group has a competitive advantage over other teams. 

Patrick Lencioni describes this in his new book “The Advantage” (Page).   “More than anything else, problems are identified and solved earlier and without collateral damage of politics…It’s worth pointing out here that people often confuse accountability with conflict because both involve discomfort and emotions.  But there is an enormous difference between the two.  Conflict is about issues and ideas, while accountability is about performance and behavior.”

The Stapley Team gets it!  They are accountable to one another they are purpose driven and they are FUN! 

So today, I simply want to say THANKS TEAM, I would not want to work with any other group of people! 

We've got unlimited opportunities right in front of us.
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Things that Jaybird sees

Not long ago Jane Campbell’s bother sent her the below email.  I enjoyed it so much I asked to be able to share it with you. 

Every morning my drive to work is my solitude time. I really enjoy my private time in the mornings to think, reflect, meditate and make plans for the day. I have been this way since I was a little guy.  I am hoping the mornings are just like this when I retire. I just sit back, listed to the radio, and see what I can see. I listed a few things that I have noticed lately. The days are longer and I have just a little morning light when I leave the house.

• Critters are active in the mornings. The rabbits and possums drinking dew off the roadside plants. Turkeys in the fields looking for insects and grain.  The deer grazing, but stopping and lifting their heads and ears as I drive by. I have noticed that when I listed to the bike SPEAKERS as opposed to the helmet speakers, the deer seems to pay more attention. Maybe that would be a good safety practice in the rural areas. I like to watch them run through the big uncut fields where the grass is still 2-3 ft. high. The deer take long graceful leaps and bounds covering the open fields with such ease.
• Most of the horses I see are still sleeping at 6am. The draft horses like to sleep with their noses resting on a fence post. That’s a funny sight to see 4 huge horses all gathered together and trying to rest 4 noses on the same fence post. Just down the road one of the neighbors has some painted ponies and a palomino. Very beautiful.  These are usually grazing in the morning but occasionally I find them sleeping. Most of the time 2-4 are sleeping on the ground and one seems to be standing guard.
• I like to see the steam that rises off the backs of cattle laying on the ground. It’s not so common in the summer, but when the weather turn cool I see this most every day. There is a place where the cattle lay down just inside a fence that’s right next to the road. When the cattle stick their heads through the fence to eat the green grass “On the other side of the fence” I could literally touch their heads. When they lay down at night, and the mornings are cool, I can see the steam rising as I pass by. They just give me a “go to hell look” and keep on chewing their cud. But it is a pretty sight.
• I like to see barns through the morning fog. On my drive in I pass buy several barns and several of those are well off the main road. As I look east, with the predawn light coming through the morning fog, I can see the outlines of the old barns, fences, tractors and wagons and horses and cattle. Its almost like a ghost image or an image in a dream. Sure makes me wish I was a farmer. Life might be simpler. Probably much harder work but simpler.
• For about a mile, my road runs parallel to a little river. No more than 20-30 feet wide, but it is nice to see the moving water every day. There are a few larger boulders that stick out of the water. I use those to gauge the water level every day. In the morning I often see the fog forming on the surface, or a fish rising to feed. And I can usually catch the sight of a crane that’s looking for crawdads, or one that just cruising over the water. Plus the air is cooler right next to the river. Makes for a cool morning commute.
• The spiders are very active now that summer was waxed. The webs, spanning between the barb wire or tall plants, or those that build directly in the grass on the ground, have caught their prey for the night and the morning dew. The early morning sun, and the spider web, seem to me, are a postcard for country living.

I really should stop and catch a few of these with the camera. The next time I write I will tell you about the things I smell.

I loved his thoughts.  Let me know what you think.

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North to Alaska!

Ken and I moved back to Arizona in 1996 from Oregon.  I say back, as Ken was born in Phoenix, and I went to Westwood High School here in Mesa.  We met in Klamath Falls Oregon, while we were both in college.

Oregon is where our children call home.

Both boys now live in the Alaskan Matanuska Valley (Wasilla and Palmer) with their families.  Karen her husband Steve and our “adopted daughter” Misty live here in Arizona.  Every summer Ken and I go north to Alaska, thus the song:

Johnny Horton - North to Alaska Song Link

Don’t worry, I will be back on August 18^th with lots of ideas.

I love my spot in the escrow industry, working for Great American Title Agency, Inc. and thinking outside the box. That is what I am doing this week.

There is one fall activity I can tell you about.  That is the Phoenix GenGen Conference on October 30^th. (More Information coming soon!)

The GAT administration has agreed to allow the Stapley Center, to sponsor this conference. 
We’re thrilled! 

Michael Maher is the author of The Seven Levels of Communication.  I've learned this is the largest group of givers in the world.  I love it!  People who give to others.  Here’s what I found on the website:

“Becoming a member of the Generosity Generation increases your capability to help to infinity. As you know, your compensation is in direct proportion to the value you bring your market, the economy, and the world. Your value to your friends, family members, co-workers, colleagues, and referral partners increases exponentially.” 

Michael really believes in giving.  He will be here the week of September 1^st simply to visit with agents/lenders all over the valley just simply to give.  No kidding.  Check Michael out for yourself:

SevenLevelsofCommunication-MichaelJMaher

Giving is important to me. 

This fall the Stapley Center will continue with all our traditions of giving.  Yes there will be the annual Thanksgiving Lunch, the adopt a family, and we've got some other pretty big ideas planned before the end of the year.

So, as the staff is enjoying my time away, you enjoy it as well cause when I get back we’re “Rockin-n-Rollin”!

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