MOTHER'S DAY REMEMBRANCES

This last weekend was Mother’s Day.
  

My Mom died on the Monday after Mother’s Day in 2008, so for me annually it’s a tough time. 

This year though I could not help but think of some of the women who have played a role in my becoming the woman I am today. 

Yes, there was my Mom, Glenna Louise Campbell, a southern belle, born and breed in the State of Texas. She loved being a woman, and was a co-dependent up to the week she died.  A favorite memory of Mother for me is one particular afternoon when I was in the 6^th grade. (I thought I was a grown up, Mom still saw me as a child).  It was pouring rain, I had walked home from school, mother greeted me at the front door, with a towel to dry off my hair, and proceeded to tell me she had milk and hot chocolate chip cookies to help soothe the walk.  It is a fun memory.

There was Nana, my Dad’s Mother, who taught me to cook red beans.  Nana and Granddaddy lived on a ranch outside of Talpa, Texas.  Every Saturday they went to town where Nana’s hair and nails were “fixed” for Sunday church. Nana would let me put my little scrubby fingers in the left over hot hand lotion, at the manicure station as I sat on her lap.

In contrast consider Mama, a night shift hospital nurse, Mother’s Mother.  Mama loved to garden, even in the red dirt of West Texas.  My fondest memory of this giant of a woman is a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other.  Mama died when I was sixteen of Pancreatic Cancer, we did not even know she was sick until she was dying (she knew).

Or consider my Aunt Knoxine, my Dad’s older sister.  She is in her late 80’s and calls me even now just to touch bases.  I love to hear her southern drawl and her opening question, “How are you doing, darlin’?”

There are other women who have made lasting impressions on me.  Ruth Barnes, the mother of 4 girls.  Ruth taught school, and was a full time pastor’s wife.  Or Ann Kemp, from Bandon, Oregon, her husband Cecil was the town banker, and they owned cranberry bogs.  They built a club house for teens to be able to simply hang out in!  Ann always had time for any kid with questions.

As I pondered the day, I wondered: am I leaving a lasting mark on today’s youth? Who and how will I be remembered?  Will the young girls in my life think of me as someone who actually took the time to listen and love on them like my Aunt Esa? 

Yes. Sunday was a tough day for me. 

However it was probably no tougher for me than it was for my Mom when she lost her Mother, or the other women I know who lived before me. 

Today’s young people are important, they matter, and they need help our help  to understand life, set future goals, dream big dreams and make plans how they will live life.

Karen, my Mother, Kevin, Cory and Aunt Esa

Mom and Dad on the day they got married. My Nana (Dad's mother) is standing next to Dad. Mama (Mother's mom) is next to her.

Ruth Barnes and my Mom on the day of my wedding

Our Offices Thank You!

This is the month of May.  We just celebrated Cinco de Mayo---thanks for attending!

As an office we are so lucky to have such good friends.  Who would have known last year that this year’s celebration would be held at OUR new “spoke” office?

A year ago, The Stapley Center was really looking forward to an innovative look after being in the same location for five years.  This year both offices, The Stapley Center and Park Plaza are bright and fun spots to spend a work day.

The Stapley Center has swelled to 10 escrow staff. You’ll find Lexi at the front desk; MJ, Marissa, and Nicki working in a newly remodeled tech center.  Carrie Porter makes sure that I stay on track; Barbara Peterson just down the front hall; Jane Campbell in the corner pocket (keeping us all in line); Bernadette Wylie and Corina Guerra guarding the entrance to a modern staff kitchen.  Oh yes, and then there is Marc in the marketing agent work center.  It is hard to believe the changes only took 3 weeks in early September. It is a huge transformation.

Then just as Stapley was unpacking boxes, Park Plaza came aboard!

If you have not visited Park Plaza (1255 W Baseline Rd, #D192, Mesa, AZ  85202) it is a must see.  The renovation is unbelievable.  Karla greets customers and clients in a formal front office.  Leslie hales a new front and center marketing office.  Karen Hubbard-Leverton leads the way back through the new privacy compliant door just off the front lobby.  Erika Enriquez is in the corner office; and then Monica Barrera our newest back-to-the-team bi-lingual EO. (For those of you who have been around Monica’s the one with 4 under 6.) Monica is in the new office beside our sparkling pristine kitchen. 

Again, if you’ve not seen all the changes since last summer, you need to stop by!

The work on both locations created long days and some big challenges, but the remodel is complete and we’re very proud of the outcome. 

Today, I simply wanted to say “thanks” to all of you who add daily to our team’s victory.  Thank you for your patience, your loyalty, your willingness to allow us to grow, and for believing in us so much.  You are the “who” in our accomplishments!

On Tuesday I was asked, “Will there still be Thanksgiving?”  The answer is “Yes”.  Thanksgiving will be, November 19^th this year and at The Stapley Center. Cinco de Mayo will be at Park Plaza, on May 5^th, 2016, so you can put that on your calendar as well. 

As I wrote today’s blog a childhood song flooded my mind:  “Make new friends, but keep the old.  One is silver and the other gold.” 

That is how we at Great American Title Stapley Center and Park Plaza feel - you are our SILVER AND OUR GOLD!  Thank you!!!

Revelation Knowledge

Do you ever simply get off track and have a tough time? I do! This last week was an example of being off track in my life! 

It seemed like nothing went right. No “miracle mornings”, none of those  “over the edge accomplishments”. I missed the gym, didn’t follow my eating plan,  or drink water. There was no plan to my wardrobe. I failed to write thank you notes!  It was rough. 

This morning in my quiet time I was reckoning with myself, “It’s ok; you're entitled. You had lots of reasons”. It all made sense to me!

Then it happened, as it almost always does. My current study book is, “Battlefields of the Mind” by Joyce Meyers. She hit me in my pity party:

“Reasoning is one of the busy activities in which the mind engages that prevents discernment and revelation knowledge.  There is a big difference in head knowledge and revelation knowledge.”

 “Revelation knowledge”  that was it! 

Immediately an old Frank Sinatra song entitled “PickYourself Up” came to mind.  In part, the song says:

"Nothing is impossible I have found, 

For when my chin is on the ground 

I pick myself up, dust myself off, Start all over again 

Don't lose your confidence if you slip, Be grateful for a pleasant trip  

And pick yourself up, dust yourself off,  Start all over again

Work like a soul inspired, Till the battle of the day is won, You may be sick and tired

But you'll be a man, my son…Nothing is impossible I have found,

For when my chin is on the ground, I pick myself up, dust myself off, Start all over again

Don't lose your confidence if you slip, Be grateful for a pleasant trip, And pick yourself up, dust yourself off, Start all over again

Work like a soul inspired, Till the battle of the day is won, You may be sick and tired

But you'll be a man, my sonWill you remember the famous men, Who had to fall to rise again?

So take a deep breath, Pick yourself up, dust yourself off Start all over again….”

My Mom would sing this song when I was a kid. So here’s what I did. I reached for my calendar; the grocery list; a big glass of water and started my “to do’s”.

I am the only person who can change me and my outcome.  I simply need to change my activities and live out my plan.

This is  “Revelation Knowledge”. Thanks, Joyce!

A Reminder Post ...

Life is busy with the remodel of Park Plaza - where we are using our lists. I thought I would share a much read post from last year.

June 4, 2014

When our children were growing up, Saturday mornings were a family affair.  After a biscuit and gravy breakfast (to this day a family favorite) the five of us would sit around the kitchen table and develop a list of family chores.  (Yes, we were lucky everyone was home Saturday morning.)

Collectively we considered all the weekly household needs: dusting, vacuuming, laundry, cleaning the kitchen, bathroom (we only had one) and yard work.

Everyone participated, regardless of age. Everyone worked at our house. 

Our 3 kids knew this was our family habit, therefore do not ask to go anywhere until the house was clean and the chores were done.  It was a wonderful yet often stressful morning.

To this day I believe our Saturday morning ritual facilitated family growth, for both the individual and the collective.  It taught us to work together in order to achieve common goals, while enabling us to understand the diversity of the individual. 

Over time, Cory’s project became the bathroom, where he would spend an hour cleaning.  I have never known anyone else who could clean a bathroom like Cory.  Karen generally dusted, and I believe I purchased a can of Pledge a week, just to keep her supplied.  Kevin, our eldest son, elected to vacuum  and I could count on a spotless carpet every weekend.  It is so much fun to be the first one to step on a freshly vacuumed  floor.   I was responsible for the kitchen and Ken the yard.

When you finished your chore, you helped someone else finish their chore until the entire project was complete.

Parents often ask Ken and I where we learned this.  Ken is an “ole farm boy”. We thought  it simply made sense.  A phrase we often used , “You eat don’t you!”  We all lived in the house; so we were all responsible for how it looked .

Years later I would learn about Stephen Covey and his book “7 Habits of Highly Effective People”.  Business leaders, authors and teachers have spun off his historical work.  His principals work.

Unlike the game Jenga where you start with a stack of ordered blocks then attempt to see how haphazardly you can stack them so the blocks fall on your opponent before they fall on you, Mr. Covey teaches systemically approaching life.

This is what we taught our children.

By building a list of  the what needs to be accomplished, who is personally responsible, by when, and what’s the reward, we are able to influence generations of lives.

While writing this I recalled a phone conversation our grandson, Tyler and I had several years ago.   I asked, “So, Tyler what are you doing?”  His response, “I’m putting soda in the refrigerator, it’s my job.”  WOW 6 years old and he had a job!

Lists help us to accomplish tasks, tasks teach responsibility, and responsibility  will help  to develop pride in the  job.

To this day, Ken and I use lists.  Saturday morning after breakfast, we consider the weekend needs.  We’ve learned that consideration of the other person adds to our love and respect for one another.  In fact the idea for today’s post came from Ken.  Oh how I love my husband.

Think about life - do you use lists?  Lists  help accomplish tasks, hold you accountable, responsible and help individuals,  families, a work team, your  community, or even the whole world grow.

What is your WHO and WHY?

Do you see the big picture, or simply the little pieces?

This is a question that often stops me cold.  It seems to me that each and every day simply gets away from me.

Here’s a short recap for simply today: write a blog, turn in my expense report, prepare staff meeting, and teach a class today, close escrow files, lead staff, fill the car with gas, cook dinner, wash two loads of clothes.  And that is simply what I remembered when I was making this am’s list.  What am I thinking?!

So often I get distracted by the “what” that is in front of my I forget the “who and why” life matters to me.

My husband - that is who matters.  Ken and I were married well over 44 years ago, and on that day we committed to live the rest of our lives together. 

Oh yes, there have been difficult seasons - we have raised three children together, been through the death of my brother and both Moms.  Ken’s dad is now deceased, my Dad remarried and we have a wonderful Stepmom in Doris.  We have learned the give and take of life. It has not been easy, however at the end of the day, the person who really matters to me is Ken.

I would encourage you to stop today. It’s not Valentines, Christmas, a birthday or your anniversary, but stop and tell that someone who puts up with you in the morning, before you’ve had a shower and washed your hair, listens to you when you unpack your day, and walks you through when no one else understands, just how much they mean to you.

At the end of your life they are the one who will be there when friends, acquaintances, and those folks you have worked with are gone.  They are the person who cares.

                                                      

Did You Realize?

Last weekend was a retreat weekend for me.  Ken and I took the RV to the mountains to simply unplug.

We all need to unplug!

The weather in the mountains was cool and it was quiet. Saturday Ken went fishing and I read.  My book “The Carpenter” by John Gordon is a wonderful short story.

The main character, Michael, wakes up in the ER to realize he passed out on a run where a Good Samaritan called 911 on his behalf.  His wife fears a heart attack.  As it turns out, it is simply stress!  Simply stress!!! That is enough to give you a heart attack.

The story goes, Michael hires his Good Samaritan,  a carpenter to build an entertainment center for the family because Michael thinks he owes the guy. 

The  inside front cover of the book says, “Michael finds out the man who saved his life is…more than just a carpenter; he is also a builder of lives, careers, people and teams.”

On  page 63  the carpenter tells Michael, “….even though I’m known for sharing success strategies, true success isn’t about money or possessions.  It’s about people, commitment, loyalty, and relationships.  In the end we won’t be measured by our bank accounts, sales numbers, wins and losses, or the size of the company we built, but by the difference we made in the people’s lives----and we make a difference through relationships.  So don’t be so busy chasing dollars and success that you fail to make a difference and build meaningful relationships.”

WOW, I read that and then reread it----“don’t be so busy chasing dollars and success that you fail to make a difference and build meaningful relationships.”

The book was finished by noon and my afternoon was spent in reflection ---simply pondering,  “What do I spend my time on?  Who really counts? How to I show them?  When do we get together?  Where will all this get me?”

If you do not regularly spend time in reflection, get there.

Stop and consider the next six months.  Schedule time to relax and reflect.  I believe like myself you will realize there is what we do and there is who we are.

It is the desire of my heart that at the end of my life people say “Carolyn used things and  loved people!”

Take time this week to reflect on your life, “What will people say?”

Inner Strength

Where does your come from?

Stop and consider the above question.  

Day after day we work.  We wake up each and every morning, to the same old routine.  Get dressed, go to work, come home, eat, and go to bed only to wake up the next day.  

People call this boring.

Boring is defined as “a regular way of doing things in a particular order; a state or situation in which things are always done the same way.”  

Sounds like most of my adult life.  Routine, routine, routine!  

I am often asked, “Carolyn, So how did you break the mold, where does your inner strength to “keep-on-keepin’-on” come from?”  

That is a long and complex answer.  However let me give you just one suggestion.

I grew up in a semi-functional family. There were “others” around me to aide in building my inner strength.  There were two brothers, two sets of grandparents, Mother, Dad, aunts, uncles, cousins, family friends, school and bosses (I had my first paid job at 14 (work permit).  That being said,  I do believe most of the credit for my childhood inner strength really belongs to my Dad.

Before I went to kindergarten I could walk into a room of strangers and instantly know how to behave. As a preschooler I understood business negotiating sales presentations.

Now as an adult (daily) I have the opportunity to either build on my childhood inner strength or simply live a boring life.

Last weekend I finished studying a book, “High Altitude Leadership” by  Chris Warner and Don Schminoke.

“High altitude leaders know that partnership with peers, staff or outside stakeholders trumps lone heroism every time”.

Build partnerships—work with people around you.  You will be building synergy to get you through the tough spots.  You will be increasing your inner strength.

Here’s an idea:  Read a book; study the life of a unique individual; plan an excursion; evaluate your week.  Do something - doing nothing is boring.