Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Basic Sales Principles

Tuesday morning is always an RLI (Referral Leaders International) morning.  I love this energizing troupe.

For those of you who may not know about RLI is the fastest growing referral leadership network around. Check them out: 

               or 

Unlike a leads group, RLI is a permission based referral network--- business to business.  RLI  has been a great phenomenal personal growth tool for me this past year.

Weekly we learn new thinking or are often reminded of back to basic tools we should be implementing in business.

This week, Kendra Jackson with Lone Wolf Contracting spoke. 

Kendra is an informative teacher, a wonderful mentor, and a great leader! 
Her teaching reminded me of my Real Estate Sales 101, "Working with buyers training".  

Here’s what she covered:

Five Steps to Handling Objections:

  1. Press for the specifics: Who’s responsible? When/Where/How did it happen? Make sure you understand the details. (My mind thought about this: The  first time a buyer brings up an objection  just listen. “Wow that bathroom was pink”.)
  2. Paraphrase what was  heard: This is fairly simple, mirror back what you heard. (My sales trainer taught me when the buyer brought up the  objection again, acknowledge it: “Yes, that bathroom was pink”.)  Know what the person is saying.
  3. Then simply respond with the facts. Suspend opinions, your agenda, and even judgments simply get into the other person’s shoes. Focus on understanding what matters to them.  It’s called “active listening”.  Yes, it’s not always easy, but with lots of practice it is possible!
  4. Test for reaction. (“You’re right, the bathroom is pink, how about painting it.”) In today’s society it is often called “concept testing”.  Sometimes it simply helps to reshape and refine what’s possible. Remember, the whole idea is to overcome the current objection.
  5. Finally, just ask for the business. (“So, let’s write the offer to purchase!”).  You know, it does not matter how good you are if you fail to ask then you’ll never make the sale. 


Take time to understand the real need, want, or desire --- hear the person out; address all the objections -  they will buy (whatever it is you’re selling) 

Yes I  remember being taught these basic sales principles---I simply had not consciously thought about them in years. Sales is really pretty simple:  ask, listen, confirm, reconfirm and close.


If you service people well during the entire process you’ll never find yourself  strong arming someone into a purchase (of anything).

Thursday, January 21, 2016

PERSEVERANCE



Do you ever simply want to quit!
I do---yet  64 years have taught me: stick to my daily disciplines to improve my health, work on my emotional balance, keep my daily productively high, and enjoy my relationships.
It’s interesting as on Tuesday of this week I was once again reminded of just what perseverance means:  
“Observe the ant,” the great Oriental conqueror Tamerlane told his friends.  In relating a story from his early life, he said “ I once was forced to take shelter from my enemies in a dilapidated building, where I sat alone for many hours.  Wishing to divert my mind from my hopeless situation, I fixed my eyes on an ant carrying a kernel of corn larger than itself up a high wall.  I counted its attempts to accomplish this feat.  The corn fell sixty-nine times to the ground, but the insect persevered.   The seventieth time it reached the top.  The ant’s accomplishment gave me courage for the moment, and I never forgot the lesson.”  (from the King’s Business)
According to the internet  perseverance is the steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.
I truly believe that is life.
Daily we need to simply  “keep on keeping on”.  
Yes, there is a lot of chatter about instant fixes, or “instant gardens” as I like to say.  However “instant gardens” are not reality.  Life is hard and we need a plan to keep from giving up.  
There are tons of self help books, computer programs, day planners, all kinds of systems ---name it and you’ll find it!
However, honestly without the endurance to push through tough times nothing will work.
Life has taught me there is no MEGA BILLION Lottery to step in and fulfill my ultimate dreams.
So as we get into this season of our life (2016)  I’m going to encourage you - like me - to stick with perseverance, and remember the ant!

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Sleep Deprivation

I saw this article in Success Magazine and thought about the sleep we all lose over the Holidays. I didn't realize all the effects that lack of sleep could cause.
Make sure to get your rest!

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Sleep Deprivation Is Killing You and Your Career


January 6, 2016
The next time you tell yourself that you’ll sleep when you’re dead, realize that you’re making a decision that can make that day come much sooner. In this article, originally posted on LinkedIn Pulse, I explain why pushing late into the night is a health and productivity killer.
According to the Division of Sleep Medicine at the Harvard Medical School, the short-term productivity gains from skipping sleep to work are quickly washed away by the detrimental effects of sleep deprivation on your mood, ability to focus and access to higher-level brain functions for days to come. The negative effects of sleep deprivation are so great that people who are drunk outperform those lacking sleep.

Why You Need Adequate Sleep to Perform

We've always known that sleep is good for your brain, but new research from the University of Rochester provides the first direct evidence for why your brain cells need you to sleep (and sleep the right way—more on that later). The study found that when you sleep, your brain removes toxic proteins from its neurons that are by-products of neural activity when you're awake. Unfortunately, your brain can remove them adequately only while you're asleep. So when you don't get enough sleep, the toxic proteins remain in your brain cells, wreaking havoc by impairing your ability to think—something no amount of caffeine can fix.
Skipping sleep impairs your brain function across the board. It slows your ability to process information and problem solve, kills your creativity, and catapults your stress levels and emotional reactivity.

What Sleep Deprivation Does to Your Health

Sleep deprivation is linked to a variety of serious health problems, including heart attack, stroke, type 2 diabetes and obesity. It stresses you out because your body overproduces the stress hormone cortisol when it's sleep deprived. While excess cortisol has a host of negative health effects that come from the havoc it wreaks on your immune system, it also makes you look older, because cortisol breaks down skin collagen, the protein that keeps skin smooth and elastic. In men specifically, not sleeping enough reduces testosterone levels and lowers sperm count.
Too many studies to list have shown that people who get enough sleep live longer, healthier lives, but I understand that sometimes this isn't motivation enough. So consider this—not sleeping enough makes you fat. Sleep deprivation compromises your body's ability to metabolize carbohydrates and control food intake. When you sleep less, you eat more and have more difficulty burning the calories you consume. Sleep deprivation makes you hungrier by increasing the appetite-stimulating hormone ghrelin and makes it harder for you to get full by reducing levels of the satiety-inducing hormone leptin. People who sleep less than six hours a night are 30 percent more likely to become obese than those who sleep seven to nine hours a night.
Side Effects From Missing Sleep

How Much Sleep Is Enough?

Most people need seven to nine hours of sleep a night to feel sufficiently rested. Few people are at their best with less than seven hours, and few require more than nine without an underlying health condition. And that’s a major problem, since more than half of Americans get less than the necessary seven hours of sleep each night, according to the National Sleep Foundation.
For go-getters, it's even worse.
A recent survey of Inc. 500 CEOs found that half of them are sleeping less than six hours a night. And the problem doesn't stop at the top. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, a third of U.S. workers get less than six hours of sleep each night, and sleep deprivation costs U.S. businesses more than $63 billion annually in lost productivity.

Doing Something About It

Beyond the obvious sleep benefits of thinking clearly and staying healthy, the ability to manage your emotions and remain calm under pressure has a direct link to your performance. TalentSmart has conducted research with more than a million people, and we’ve found that 90 percent of top performers are high in emotional intelligence(EQ). These individuals are skilled at understanding and using emotions to their benefit, and good sleep hygiene is one of the greatest tools at their disposal.
High-EQ individuals know it's not just how much you sleep that matters, but also how you sleep. When life gets in the way of getting the amount of sleep you need, it's absolutely essential that you increase the quality of your sleep through good sleep hygiene. There are many hidden killers of quality sleep. The 10 strategies that follow will help you identify these killers and clean up your sleep hygiene. Follow them, and you'll reap the performance and health benefits that come with getting the right quantity and quality of sleep.
1. Stay away from sleeping pills.
When I say sleeping pills, I mean anything you take that sedates you so that you can sleep. Whether it's alcohol, Nyquil, Benadryl, Valium, Ambien, or what have you, these substances greatly disrupt your brain's natural sleep process. Have you ever noticed that sedatives can give you some really strange dreams? As you sleep and your brain removes harmful toxins, it cycles through an elaborate series of stages, at times shuffling through the day’s memories and storing or discarding them (which causes dreams). Sedation interferes with these cycles, altering the brain's natural process.
Anything that interferes with the brain's natural sleep process has dire consequences for the quality of your sleep. Many of the strategies that follow eliminate factors that disrupt this recovery process. If getting off sleeping pills proves difficult, make certain you try some of the other strategies (such as cutting down on caffeine) that will make it easier for you to fall asleep naturally and reduce your dependence upon sedatives.
2. Stop drinking caffeine (at least after lunch).
You can sleep more and vastly improve the quality of the sleep you get by reducing your caffeine intake. Caffeine is a powerful stimulant that interferes with sleep by increasing adrenaline production and blocking sleep-inducing chemicals in the brain. Caffeine has a six-hour half-life, which means it takes a full 24 hours to work its way out of your system. Have a cup of joe at 8 a.m., and you’ll still have 25 percent of the caffeine in your body at 8 p.m. Anything you drink after noon will still be near 50 percent strength at bedtime. Any caffeine in your bloodstream—the negative effects increasing with the dose—makes it harder to fall and stay asleep.
When you do finally fall asleep, the worst is yet to come. Caffeine disrupts the quality of your sleep by reducing rapid eye movement (REM) sleep, the deep sleep when your body recuperates most. When caffeine disrupts your sleep, you wake up the next day with a cognitive and emotional handicap. You’ll be naturally inclined to grab a cup of coffee or an energy drink to try to make yourself feel more alert, which very quickly creates a vicious cycle.
3. Avoid blue light at night.
This is a big one—most people don't even realize it impacts their sleep. Short-wavelength blue light plays an important role in your mood, energy level and sleep quality. In the morning, sunlight contains high concentrations of this "blue" light. When your eyes are exposed to it directly (not through a window or while wearing sunglasses), the blue light halts production of the sleep-inducing hormone melatonin and makes you feel more alert. This is great, and exposure to a.m. sunlight can improve your mood and energy levels. If the sun isn't an option for you, try a blue light device.
In the afternoon, the sun's rays lose their blue light, which allows your body to produce melatonin and start making you sleepy. By the evening, your brain does not expect any blue light exposure and is very sensitive to it. The problem this creates for sleep is that most of our favorite evening devices—laptops, tablets, TVs and mobile phones—emit short-wavelength blue light. And in the case of your laptop, tablet and phone, they do so brightly and right in your face. This exposure impairs melatonin production and interferes with your ability to fall asleep as well as with the quality of your sleep once you do nod off. Remember, the sleep cycle is a daylong process for your brain. When you confuse your brain by exposing it in the evening to what it thinks is a.m. sunlight, this derails the entire process with effects that linger long after you power down. The best thing you can do is avoid these devices after dinner (TV is OK for most people as long as they sit far enough away from the set). If you must use one of these devices in the evening, you can limit your exposure with a filter or protective eye wear.
4. Wake up at the same time every day.
Consistency is key to a good night's sleep, especially when it comes to waking up. Waking up at the same time every day improves your mood and sleep quality by regulating your circadian rhythm. When you have a consistent wake-up time, your brain acclimates to this and moves through the sleep cycle in preparation for you to feel rested and alert at your wake-up time. Roughly an hour before you wake, hormone levels increase gradually (along with your body temperature and blood pressure), causing you to become more alert. This is why you'll often find yourself waking up right before your alarm goes off.
When you don't wake up at the same time every day, your brain doesn't know when to complete the sleep process and when it should prepare you to be awake. Long ago, sunlight ensured a consistent wake-up time. These days, an alarm is the only way most people can pull this off, and doing this successfully requires resisting the temptation to sleep in when you're feeling tired because you know you'll actually feel better by keeping your wake-up time intact.
5. No binge sleeping (in) on the weekend.
Sleeping in on the weekend is a counterproductive way to catch up on your sleep. It messes with your circadian rhythm by giving you an inconsistent wake-up time. When you wake up at the same time during the work week but sleep past this time on the weekend, you end up feeling groggy and tired because your brain hasn't prepared your body to be awake. This isn't a big deal on your day off, but it makes you less productive on Monday because it throws your cycle off and makes it hard to get going again on your regular schedule.
6. Learn how much sleep you really need.
The amount of sleep you need is something that you can't control, and scientists are beginning to discover the genes that dictate it. The problem is, most people sleep much less than they really need and are under-performing because they think they're getting enough. Some discover this the hard way. Ariana Huffington was one of those frantic types who underslept and overworked, until she collapsed unexpectedly from exhaustion one afternoon. She credits her success and well-being since then to the changes she's made to her sleep habits. "I began getting 30 minutes more sleep a night, until gradually I got to seven to eight hours. The result has been transformational," Huffington says, adding that, "all the science now demonstrates unequivocally that when we get enough sleep, everything is better: our health; our mental capacity and clarity; our joy at life; and our ability to live life without reacting to every bad thing that happens."
Huffington isn't the only one. Jeff Bezos, Warren Buffet, and Sheryl Sandberg have all touted the virtues of getting enough sleep. Even Bill Gates, an infamous night owl, has affirmed the benefits of figuring out how much sleep you really need: “I like to get seven hours of sleep a night because that’s what I need to stay sharp and creative and upbeat.” It's time to bite the bullet and start going to bed earlier until you find the magic number that enables you to perform at your best.
7. Stop working.
When you work in the evening, it puts you into a stimulated, alert state when you should be winding down and relaxing in preparation for sleep. Recent surveys show that roughly 60 percent of people monitor their smartphones for work emails until they go to sleep. Staying off blue light-emitting devices (discussed above) after a certain time each evening is also a great way to avoid working so you can relax and prepare for sleep, but any type of work before bed should be avoided if you want quality sleep.
8. Eliminate interruptions.
Unfortunately for those with small children, the quality of your sleep does suffer when it is interrupted. The key here is to eliminate all the interruptions that are under your control. If you have loud neighbors, wear earplugs to bed. If your mother likes to call at all hours of the night, make certain you silence your ringer before you go to bed. If you had to wake up extra early in the morning, make sure your alarm clock is back on its regular time when you go to bed. Don't drink too much water in the evening to avoid a bathroom trip in the middle of the night. If your partner snores…. Well, you get the idea. If you think hard enough, there are lots of little things you can do to eliminate unnecessary interruptions to your sleep.
9. Learn to meditate.
Many people who learn to meditate report that it improves the quality of their sleep and that they can get the rest they need even if they aren't able to significantly increase the number of hours they sleep. At the Stanford Medical Center, insomniacs participated in a six-week mindfulness meditation and cognitive-behavioral therapy course. At the end of the study, participants' average time to fall asleep was cut in half (from 40 to 20 minutes), and 60 percent of subjects no longer qualified as insomniacs. The subjects retained these gains upon follow-up a full year later. A similar study at the University of Massachusetts Medical School found that 91 percent of participants either reduced the amount of medication they needed to sleep or stopped taking medication entirely after a mindfulness and sleep therapy course. Give mindfulness a try. At minimum, you'll fall asleep faster, as it will teach you how to relax and quiet your mind once you hit the pillow.
10. When all else fails, take naps.
One of the biggest peaks in melatonin production happens during the 1 to 3 p.m. time frame, which explains why most people feel sleepy in the afternoon. Companies like Google and Zappos are capitalizing on this need by giving employees the opportunity to take short afternoon naps. If you aren't getting enough sleep at night, you're likely going to feel an overwhelming desire to sleep in the afternoon. When this happens, you're better off taking a short nap (even as short as 15 minutes) than resorting to caffeine to keep you awake. A short nap will give you the rest you need to get through the rest of the afternoon, and you'll sleep much better in the evening than if you drink caffeine or take a long afternoon nap.
Bringing It All Together
I know many of you reading this piece are thinking something along the lines of "but I know a guy (or gal) who is always up at all hours of the night working or socializing, and he's the number one performer at our branch." My answer for you is simple: This guy is underperforming. We all have innate abilities that we must maximize to reach our full potential. My job is to help people do that—to help the good become great by removing unseen performance barriers. Being number one in your branch is an accomplishment, but I guarantee that this guy has his sights set on bigger things that he isn't achieving because sleep deprivation has him performing at a fraction of his full potential. You should send him this article. It just might shake something loose.
After all, the only thing worth catching up on at night is your sleep.
- See more at: http://www.success.com/blog/sleep-deprivation-is-killing-you-and-your-career#sthash.Jl9e1vOC.dpuf

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

I LOVE DANIEL PINK!

Welcome to the latest edition of our irregular and irreverent newsletter. Thanks for being one of more than 100,000 people around the world who subscribe. 

In this issue, you’ll find a list of my 10 favorite books of the year — along with advice on how not to get conned.

Let’s get started.

MY 10 FAVORITE BOOKS OF THE YEAR
Okay, every other “media outlet” is assembling its end-of-year best books list. Why not the Pink newsletter?  Herewith, in alphabetical order by author, the 10 most compelling books I read this year.  

The Light of the World: A Memoir
by Elizabeth Alexander
In 1996, Alexander, a well-known poet, met Ficre Ghebreyesus, a chef originally from Eritrea. Within a few weeks, they decided to get married. Within three years, they had two sons. Then in 2012, Ficre dropped dead of a heart attack. Alexander’s account of her grief is riveting. I read nearly the entire book in one sitting. 

Unfair: The New Science of Criminal Justice
by Adam Benforado
Law professor Benforado argues that our legal system is built on assumptions about human behavior that just aren’t true.  Some examples: Eyewitness testimony is utterly unreliable, yet we use it to convict people. Human beings stink at detecting lies, yet jurors think they’re great at it. And, amazingly, false confessions are quite easy to produce. This book deserved way more attention than it received. 

Friend & Foe: When to Cooperate, When to Compete, and How to Succeed at Both
by Adam Galinsky and Maurice Schweitzer
You might remember this one from the 4Q4 this duo did for this newsletter. This is a smart, practical book that lives up to its promise to help you become “a better friend and more formidable foe."

Fates and Furies 
by Lauren Groff
Whenever a book gets as much acclaim as this one — glowing reviews, a National Book Award nomination, even a Presidential endorsement — I become a bit skeptical. But this fast-paced literary novel, which tells the story of a marriage from two contrasting perspectives, deserves every plaudit. It’s gobsmackingly good. 

How to Raise An Adult 
by Julie Lythcott-Haims
Another 4Q4 book. Former Stanford Dean of Freshmen Lythcott-Haims aims her howitzer at helicopter parents — and teaches us how to trust our kids. 

The Road Not Taken: Finding America in the Poem Everyone Loves and Almost Everyone Gets Wrong
by David Orr
You wouldn’t think an book-length dissection of Robert Frost’s “two roads diverged in a yellow wood” poem would be a great read. But Orr’s book is a gem — wise, funny, and insightful.

Are You Fully Charged?: The 3 Keys to Energizing Your Work and Life
by Tom Rath
This slim book packs a massive punch. Rath, who has a string of culture-shifting bestsellers, harvests a trove of science to explain the importance of pursuing meaning, improving your interactions, and taking common-sense steps to boost your energy. 

Infamy: The Shocking Story of Japanese American Internment in World War II 
by Richard Reeves
Shortly after the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor 50 years ago, the U.S. government rounded up more than 100,000 Japanese-Americans and incarcerated them at "relocation centers.” This remains one of the most disgraceful episodes in American history. I read this back in April, but Reeves’s elegantly told tale has new relevance today as some of the very same xenophobia and racism rear their heads again. 

The Arab of the Future: 1978 to 1984
by Riad Sattouf
Young Riad has a French mother, a Syrian father, and a head of shockingly blond hair. In this graphic novel he tells the story of his early childhood. Fans ofPersepolis will love this one.  

The Speechwriter: A Brief Education in Politics
by Barton Swaim
A regular guy leaves academia to become a speechwriter for the Governor of South Carolina. Complications ensue. This chronicle — at once hilarious and sad — is the best book on politics I’ve read in years.

HOW TO OUTSMART TRICKSTERS, FRAUDS, AND CON ARTISTS 
4 QUESTIONS FOR MARIA KONNIKOVA


Have you ever been conned? Chances are, you said no. And chances are, you’re wrong. Human beings — including smarty-pants humans like you and me — turn out to be incredibly susceptible to trickery, deceit, and flim-flammery. That’s one message of The Confidence Game: Why We Fall For It Every Time (Buy it:Amazon | BN.Com | IndieBound), a great new book coming out in a few weeks from New Yorker writer Maria Konnikova.  In this elegantly written and deeply researched work, Maria uses confidence games as a window to understanding human behavior and cognition — especially our hard-wired desire to believe and our tendency to confirm our existing beliefs and to discard contrary evidence. 

I asked Maria to give us a preview by being our latest participant in 4Q4, a regular feature where I ask authors four questions about their book — the same four questions every time. 

1. Maria, what’s the big idea?
At its core, The Confidence Game is about the nature of belief: why we believe the things we do, how our beliefs are formed, and why they are so persistent. Human nature craves meaning—and good con artists are only too happy to provide that meaning for us. They are experts at reading our deepest desires and at crafting a version of reality that makes those desires seem possible, even likely. Every single one of us is a potential victim, because every single one of us carries a deep-rooted need to believe in a better, or at the least, most logical, version of the world. And the more immune and urbane we think we are, the more likely we are to fall for the grifter’s wiles. 

2. How do you know?
Over three years, I interviewed dozens of conmen and their victims, learning their stories and discerning patterns in their experiences, comparing them to grifters of yore to see whether the essence of the confidence man remains the same in the twenty-first century as it was hundreds of years ago. I supplemented those interviews with hundreds of psychological studies, ranging from work on psychopathy and narcissism to research into our self-serving biases to experiments on how beliefs are formed and how we perceive and interpret reality. 

3. Why should I care?
All of us come face to face with potential cons on a daily basis: that weight-loss product that will let you lose the last few pounds with little effort, that multi-hundred dollar face cream that will make you look ten years younger, the street hustler who has lost his wallet, the brilliant investor who will make you rich, the love of your life waiting just on the other side of OkCupid. This book will teach you how to spot them—and how to know yourself well enough to recognize when you just might be falling for wishful thinking.

4. What should I do?
There are a number of steps you can take to both recognize a con in progress and improve your ability to avoid getting conned. Some examples:

—  Learn how some of the most common persuasion tactics work, such as the foot-in-the-door (someone will ask you for something small, and then work up to a much bigger request) or the door-in-the-face (someone will ask you for something big, you will of course say no, but then you’ll feel guilty—and be much more likely to say yes next time around, which is what the con artist was counting on all along).

—  Learn to recognize the things that can be easily manipulated to make you like and trust someone, like familiarity (you’ve seen them around before, or they seem to know someone you know…think of all the Facebook friend requests from friends-of-friends who seem trustworthy by virtue of that connection) and the chameleon effect (they seem like you, in beliefs, background, and actions).

— Set limits and learn to exit any situation with grace. Many of us fall for cons because we don’t know how to say no without losing face once we’re hooked part-way. Pre-commit yourself to certain limits, and have a goal-oriented action plan for possible interactions (If I am asked to do this, then I will respond by politely saying that I can’t, for this reason…).

More: The Confidence Game: Why We Fall For It Every Time

That’s all for this edition and for 2015. As always, thanks for reading our humble newsletter. Have a healthy, happy, and hopeful New Year.

Cheers,
Daniel Pink

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Guest Blog: On personality, emotional labor, and surviving the holidays

I ran across this blog post this week and thought it would be very appropriate to share.

On personality, emotional labor, and surviving the holidays.

By Anne on Nov 23, 2015 08:11 am
quiet space
I just finished listening to an old podcast where Dan Pink interviews Susan Cain, author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking.
I’ve read (and loved) Quiet before, but here on the cusp of the holiday season—for my own survival’s sake—I’m making myself revisit a concept I learned of from Cain: emotional labor.
In the podcast, Cain explains that introverts can be extremely, genuinely social—even for long periods of time—and enjoy being so. But for true introverts, putting on this extroverted front over a period of days or weeks isexhausting.
This phenomenon has a name: it’s called “emotional labor,” and it’s what you experience any time you project (or, to put it not-so-nicely, fake) an emotion or attitude that doesn’t come easily.
In Quiet, Cain describes emotional labor as “the effort we make to control and change our own emotions,” and says it’s “associated with stress, burnout, and even physical symptoms like an increase in cardiovascular disease.”
That doesn’t sound good, but it nevertheless rings true: I’m no stranger to the peculiar introvert exhaustion she describes. And while I hate the idea that I work to project emotions I don’t really feel, I have to admit I do this all the time—especially as an introvert.
There are many, many times every day when I make myself get interested in my kid’s art project instead of heading out for a walk by myself, or tell my kids they can dance to the Laurie Berkner Christmas album for the third time in a row when I would prefer the quiet.
These issues are top of mind right now because the holidays are especially taxing for introverts. It’s taken meyears to realize that as much as I enjoy the holiday festivities, they’re incredibly draining.
Seeing old friends, visiting family, packing and traveling, and the kids’ contagious excitement are all good things, but they take their toll. I still need need to remind myself to plan accordingly: to take that walk by myself, go to bed early, or curl up for an hour with a movie or a good book.
Do you relate to this experience of emotional labor? How do you manage it during the holidays?

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Kicking The Cat

The master motivator, author, and speaker Zig Ziglar came up with this wonderful analogy years ago. Here’s a paraphrased version of his great work.
Mr. C was the top dog.  He could come and go as he wanted. He enjoyed lunches at the club almost every day.  One day he simply lost track of time.   He looked at his watch and realized he was going really late in getting back to work. He left the restaurant and jumped in his car. He burned rubber leaving the parking lot. As he got on the freeway he put the pedal to the metal.  As he sped down the highway, his heart skipped a beat when he heard the siren. He’d been clocked doing 96 mph.
As he stopped the officer simply asked, “Where’re you going in such a hurry?” “I’m needed at work,” he replied abruptly, “I’m a very important man!”  “Well, you’re not above the law.”  “I didn’t say I was … but shouldn’t you be chasing real criminals and leave me alone?”  “I’ll leave you alone in a few minutes. Let’s see your driver’s license, registration, and insurance card.”
Mr. C handed him the requested information. Then he sat there and stewed. As the minutes passed by, he got more and more angry.  The officer came back and handed him a ticket, along with the rest of his documents. He grabbed them out of the officer’s hand, rolled up his window, and took off down the road.
He finally arrived at work. He was really late now. When he finally got to the office, the first person he saw was his sales manager.
“How’s it going, Mr. C” said the sales manager with a smile.  “I want to see you in my office NOW!”, was Mr. C’s response.  The sales manager followed him into his office.
As Mr. C  threw his coat down on the couch, he yelled at the sales manager, “You fell short of your goal last week for the second week in a row. I want to know what you’re going to do to get back on track and I want to know now.”  “Mr. C, we talked about this yesterday. We have four big deals. Any one of them will put us over the top and I’m sure we’ll get at least one of them.”  “I’ll believe it when I see it,” Mr. C blurted out while looking at some papers on his desk. “You’re dismissed.”
The bewildered sales manager walked back to his office. When he got there, the first person he saw was his assistant. He screamed at her. She screamed at someone who screamed at someone else.
And so it went for the rest of the day.
Eventually the receptionist got yelled at. When she got home, the first person she saw was her twelve-year old boy. She yelled at him and sent him to his room.
On the way to his room, the family cat walked in front of him. He kicked the cat!
So here’s the question –
Wouldn’t it have been much better, for everyone involved, if Mr. C had just gone directly to the receptionist’s house and kicked the cat?

I love this story, there are rough days almost every week and I really hope that I do not spend my day kicking other people, or as far as that goes even kicking my cat!