Life's Not Easy

Sometimes life is unexpected and it is not easy.

Recently a number of deaths have reminded me how unexpected and not easy it is.

A co-worker lost his daughter to drugs, two young women lost their Mom to an automobile accident, a set of grandparents lost their son - he simply died overnight, twenty year old children lost their dad to suicide - it’s been a tough month.

Death is a difficult season in life.

Saturday, February 28^th I was asked to speak at a memorial for the two young women who lost their Mom, Merilee Brinson. In speaking with the family here’s what I learned:

In the year 2000, Merilee knew she was in trouble with life - she wanted an immediate fix.

Like many of us Merilee thought she could simply say the words, “I’m done” and instantly she would be living a perfect life.

She learned the principle “Change is very simple, stop what you’re doing and do different.  However change is never easy.”  However she was determined to figure this out!

Here’s a look at her back-story: 

As a junior in high school Merilee was uprooted and moved from CA to AZ. 

Her Aunt Anne shared that Merilee always welcomed her with a smile - and to her it appeared that Merilee was open and loved to welcome new friends into her life. 

Aunt Anne’s memory of Merilee’s smile goes back to Merilee’s toddler days. 

The story goes the day Aunt Anne met the toddler Merilee, Merilee ran over and just crawled into Aunt Anne’s lap - she then  immediately burst forth with that smile. 

You can spend a minute with Merilee’s granddaughter Madison and see that same smile.

Smile or no smile, in high school Merilee felt that life wasn’t fair.

You see Merilee’s Mom had died when Merilee was a kid.  

Now granted that’s not fair.  In Merilee’s mind she’d been uprooted and now she was expected to be happy about it! NO WAY!  God had not forgotten Merilee and He was guiding/providing as he does in all of our lives. 

In stepped two Godly people, her maternal grandparents, Bill and Dixie Matthies - God promises he will never fail us or forsake us; He will always provide, always guide. Bill and Dixie moved from retirement in CA to AZ to minister to three children in need (Merilee, Mike, and Martin). The children mattered to God and the children mattered to Bill and Dixie. 

Life moved on. Merilee met and married her first husband Robert, where two special daughters were born. 

Amber and Ashley.

These two gifts from God began to grow and Merilee became aware - she wanted different for the girls. 

With this in mind, the imperfect Merilee reached out to Central Christian Church of the East Valley, because as she would later say, she felt a hope and she believed that things could be better. 

Merilee accepted the Lord as her personal Lord and Savior.

Merilee and I shared a favorite Bible verse, Proverbs 3:5, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path”. 

Over the years we would revisit this verse often.

In meeting with the girls this past week, we talked a lot.

Ashley loved her trip with her Mom to San Francisco;

on another day a special hiking trip. Ashley has the text message Merilee sent her on Thanksgiving Day --- “Happy thanksgiving, I love you very much you are my special baby girl I miss you a lot have a great day I can’t wait to see you”

Amber remembers when she was pregnant with Madison. 

Merilee was here, on a one week’s vacation - that baby needed to get here right now. Amber just needed to understand.  That was Merilee.  Amber said Merilee had her climb stairs, eat spicy food, anything she could think of.  Merilee told me, “Doesn’t God understand!”

Laughingly we would simply go back to Proverbs 5:3.  By the way, Madison was born on Merilee’s last day in the valley.

A real highlight for me in talking with family this past week came from Merilee’s sister in law, Nicky. 

It seems that at the funeral in Orlando people walked up to the family to say “thank you for Merilee’s ministry”. Merilee was helping others learn to cope with life. 

For you see Merilee had reached a life dream. She had become a licensed nurse.  Her co-workers, acquaintances, people who we may never meet were being ministered to by our Merilee. They simply wanted the family to know how remarkable Merilee was. 

This person who fifteen years ago said “Life’s not fair, you just don’t understand, I can’t simply let go” was now ministering to others.

I am proud of Merilee. 

Yes we will miss her - the random phone calls, strange text messages in the middle of the night - her complaining about how we simply did not understand -Yes - we will miss Merilee.

Today, however, I believe Merilee is saying to all of us, “You can experience God’s grace.” 

Yes, there were changes in Merilee’s life over time.  God gave her joy as she learned to love her family, and blessed her as she impacted those around her. 

I’ve learned little changes over time have major impact in life.

Life is short, and we do not know who, how, or when we impact another person’s life.  We do not know when it will be our time to die. All we know is to live this day to its fullest. Use what you have and love those around you!