A Reminder Post ...

Life is busy with the remodel of Park Plaza - where we are using our lists. I thought I would share a much read post from last year.

June 4, 2014

When our children were growing up, Saturday mornings were a family affair.  After a biscuit and gravy breakfast (to this day a family favorite) the five of us would sit around the kitchen table and develop a list of family chores.  (Yes, we were lucky everyone was home Saturday morning.)

Collectively we considered all the weekly household needs: dusting, vacuuming, laundry, cleaning the kitchen, bathroom (we only had one) and yard work.

Everyone participated, regardless of age. Everyone worked at our house. 

Our 3 kids knew this was our family habit, therefore do not ask to go anywhere until the house was clean and the chores were done.  It was a wonderful yet often stressful morning.

To this day I believe our Saturday morning ritual facilitated family growth, for both the individual and the collective.  It taught us to work together in order to achieve common goals, while enabling us to understand the diversity of the individual. 

Over time, Cory’s project became the bathroom, where he would spend an hour cleaning.  I have never known anyone else who could clean a bathroom like Cory.  Karen generally dusted, and I believe I purchased a can of Pledge a week, just to keep her supplied.  Kevin, our eldest son, elected to vacuum  and I could count on a spotless carpet every weekend.  It is so much fun to be the first one to step on a freshly vacuumed  floor.   I was responsible for the kitchen and Ken the yard.

When you finished your chore, you helped someone else finish their chore until the entire project was complete.

Parents often ask Ken and I where we learned this.  Ken is an “ole farm boy”. We thought  it simply made sense.  A phrase we often used , “You eat don’t you!”  We all lived in the house; so we were all responsible for how it looked .

Years later I would learn about Stephen Covey and his book “7 Habits of Highly Effective People”.  Business leaders, authors and teachers have spun off his historical work.  His principals work.

Unlike the game Jenga where you start with a stack of ordered blocks then attempt to see how haphazardly you can stack them so the blocks fall on your opponent before they fall on you, Mr. Covey teaches systemically approaching life.

This is what we taught our children.

By building a list of  the what needs to be accomplished, who is personally responsible, by when, and what’s the reward, we are able to influence generations of lives.

While writing this I recalled a phone conversation our grandson, Tyler and I had several years ago.   I asked, “So, Tyler what are you doing?”  His response, “I’m putting soda in the refrigerator, it’s my job.”  WOW 6 years old and he had a job!

Lists help us to accomplish tasks, tasks teach responsibility, and responsibility  will help  to develop pride in the  job.

To this day, Ken and I use lists.  Saturday morning after breakfast, we consider the weekend needs.  We’ve learned that consideration of the other person adds to our love and respect for one another.  In fact the idea for today’s post came from Ken.  Oh how I love my husband.

Think about life - do you use lists?  Lists  help accomplish tasks, hold you accountable, responsible and help individuals,  families, a work team, your  community, or even the whole world grow.

What is your WHO and WHY?

Do you see the big picture, or simply the little pieces?

This is a question that often stops me cold.  It seems to me that each and every day simply gets away from me.

Here’s a short recap for simply today: write a blog, turn in my expense report, prepare staff meeting, and teach a class today, close escrow files, lead staff, fill the car with gas, cook dinner, wash two loads of clothes.  And that is simply what I remembered when I was making this am’s list.  What am I thinking?!

So often I get distracted by the “what” that is in front of my I forget the “who and why” life matters to me.

My husband - that is who matters.  Ken and I were married well over 44 years ago, and on that day we committed to live the rest of our lives together. 

Oh yes, there have been difficult seasons - we have raised three children together, been through the death of my brother and both Moms.  Ken’s dad is now deceased, my Dad remarried and we have a wonderful Stepmom in Doris.  We have learned the give and take of life. It has not been easy, however at the end of the day, the person who really matters to me is Ken.

I would encourage you to stop today. It’s not Valentines, Christmas, a birthday or your anniversary, but stop and tell that someone who puts up with you in the morning, before you’ve had a shower and washed your hair, listens to you when you unpack your day, and walks you through when no one else understands, just how much they mean to you.

At the end of your life they are the one who will be there when friends, acquaintances, and those folks you have worked with are gone.  They are the person who cares.

                                                      

Did You Realize?

Last weekend was a retreat weekend for me.  Ken and I took the RV to the mountains to simply unplug.

We all need to unplug!

The weather in the mountains was cool and it was quiet. Saturday Ken went fishing and I read.  My book “The Carpenter” by John Gordon is a wonderful short story.

The main character, Michael, wakes up in the ER to realize he passed out on a run where a Good Samaritan called 911 on his behalf.  His wife fears a heart attack.  As it turns out, it is simply stress!  Simply stress!!! That is enough to give you a heart attack.

The story goes, Michael hires his Good Samaritan,  a carpenter to build an entertainment center for the family because Michael thinks he owes the guy. 

The  inside front cover of the book says, “Michael finds out the man who saved his life is…more than just a carpenter; he is also a builder of lives, careers, people and teams.”

On  page 63  the carpenter tells Michael, “….even though I’m known for sharing success strategies, true success isn’t about money or possessions.  It’s about people, commitment, loyalty, and relationships.  In the end we won’t be measured by our bank accounts, sales numbers, wins and losses, or the size of the company we built, but by the difference we made in the people’s lives----and we make a difference through relationships.  So don’t be so busy chasing dollars and success that you fail to make a difference and build meaningful relationships.”

WOW, I read that and then reread it----“don’t be so busy chasing dollars and success that you fail to make a difference and build meaningful relationships.”

The book was finished by noon and my afternoon was spent in reflection ---simply pondering,  “What do I spend my time on?  Who really counts? How to I show them?  When do we get together?  Where will all this get me?”

If you do not regularly spend time in reflection, get there.

Stop and consider the next six months.  Schedule time to relax and reflect.  I believe like myself you will realize there is what we do and there is who we are.

It is the desire of my heart that at the end of my life people say “Carolyn used things and  loved people!”

Take time this week to reflect on your life, “What will people say?”

Inner Strength

Where does your come from?

Stop and consider the above question.  

Day after day we work.  We wake up each and every morning, to the same old routine.  Get dressed, go to work, come home, eat, and go to bed only to wake up the next day.  

People call this boring.

Boring is defined as “a regular way of doing things in a particular order; a state or situation in which things are always done the same way.”  

Sounds like most of my adult life.  Routine, routine, routine!  

I am often asked, “Carolyn, So how did you break the mold, where does your inner strength to “keep-on-keepin’-on” come from?”  

That is a long and complex answer.  However let me give you just one suggestion.

I grew up in a semi-functional family. There were “others” around me to aide in building my inner strength.  There were two brothers, two sets of grandparents, Mother, Dad, aunts, uncles, cousins, family friends, school and bosses (I had my first paid job at 14 (work permit).  That being said,  I do believe most of the credit for my childhood inner strength really belongs to my Dad.

Before I went to kindergarten I could walk into a room of strangers and instantly know how to behave. As a preschooler I understood business negotiating sales presentations.

Now as an adult (daily) I have the opportunity to either build on my childhood inner strength or simply live a boring life.

Last weekend I finished studying a book, “High Altitude Leadership” by  Chris Warner and Don Schminoke.

“High altitude leaders know that partnership with peers, staff or outside stakeholders trumps lone heroism every time”.

Build partnerships—work with people around you.  You will be building synergy to get you through the tough spots.  You will be increasing your inner strength.

Here’s an idea:  Read a book; study the life of a unique individual; plan an excursion; evaluate your week.  Do something - doing nothing is boring.

A Word from Michael J. Maher

It's been a busy week. I thought you might benefit from Michael Maher's latest message: 

Hello Ambassadors!

Let’s FIRE up our FOCUS…

One of the most common challenges I see with sales professionals is Focus.

My acronym for FOCUS is:
FINISH
ONE
CHALLENGE
UNTIL
SUCCESS

Now, let’s use the acronym to ignite action – and I’ll use another acronym here to make it easy to remember.

The acronym is FIRE.
FOCUS
IMMERSE
RECUPERATE
EVALUATE

 

 

It’s common sense, but definitely not common practice (though my coaching clients are definitely loving this as a tool in their tool belt). Here’s how to use it…

1. Identify a challenge in your business or a system or ritual that needs to be created or improved (don’t all our systems need constant improvement?)
2. Schedule yourself a FIRE Session. Block off 90 minutes to 3 hours – depending on the challenge.
3. Prepare – gather all best practices of that system, notes you’ve taken from conferences or Webinars, use Facebook groups to get ideas (post a question about the topic and ask those who have the system or ritual to post theirs), and do at least one Google search for whatever system you want (and here’s a cool hint, use “.pdf” in your search and you will get ready-made systems J ).
4. Gather all relevant people into the FIRE Session (all relevant people may just be yourself if you are a solopreneur, but if you have a team or staff, you will want them in on this session. They will add value and buy-in to the system, which is now OURS instead of YOURS).
5. Have the session following this formula:
   1.        Identify the FOCUS: 5 minutes. Just really get clear on WHY the system is necessary and say a small blessing that you may not have the best of the best in front of you, but when you are done, what you have is better than what you had.
   2.       IMMERSE: 80% of the time. So if doing 2 hours, you’ll spent a little over 1.5 hours on the work.
   3.        RECUPERATE: DO NOT SKIP THIS! Take a 10 – 20-minute walk. While the material is fresh in your mind, get out and just let it marinate. Some of the best ideas I’ve ever had have been during these “getting some air” walks. And it makes sense, haven’t you ever been in a conversation or appointment and then as soon as you were finished, wished you had said something different? Same concept here. Let your brain relax and let the brilliance flow.
   4.       EVALUATE: 5 minutes: schedule a time to re-visit the system or strategy. Remember, you’ve done the hard work during this FIRE Session, so the EVALUATE and maintenance sessions can be as easy as monthly 30-minute meetings to tweak. But SCHEDULE THEM and make these follow-up sessions happen. Remember, big doors swing on small hinges. It’s the little things that make a difference.

A quick example, from a real estate point of view, would be your contract-to-close process. You could easily do what we did and gather together all the best transaction coordination systems, take the best of the best from Transaction Coordinators and other agents around the world, create your own system, and then sprinkle in some of your uniquely-you tweaks and BOOM! You have an excellent system.

Other systems, strategies, and rituals you could use a FIRE Session are: Listing Presentation, Pre-Listing Packets, Buyer Consultations, New Construction Client System, Housewarming Party System, Lead to Conversion System, Referral Follow-up System, Morning Ritual, Pre-Leave Ritual, etc.

So, tell me, what other Challenges we face could use a FIRE Session?

Hope this FIRES you up and ignites you to new heights in your business.

Blessings,

Michael

 

 

Did you miss our first LIVE Google OnAir Hangout?  No worries.....REPLAY info is below:  ***************************************************************************************************************
FULL REPLAY: How to Build Your Business Through Giving Click here to watch the on-demand replay   Friends,  As promised, here is the full replay of our "Generosity Generation Hangout" Live OnAir event on How to Build Your Business Through Giving.  Click here to watch the full replay

 

Michael Maher
Author, Speaker, Realtor

(7L) / Generosity Generation

On May 7, 2014 I posted a blog that has been read over and over. Today, I simply want to repost it. Experience has taught me that change is hard. Really hard and only 5% of people will succeed in making implementing the small changes in their life that have major impact. 

Here is the post: 

Daily quiet time enables me to stay grounded and grow personally.  I am so very lucky I have a spouse, family, and staff who understand that.

This year I added reading to my five year daily “quiet time” habit. Right  now I am digesting a book my son, Cory recommended entitled, “Myths to Live By”.

The classic work is a look at Joseph Campbell’s personal life philosophy. His work actually intensifies for me just how dramatically my personal faith has grown and how much  has changed in the past 15 years.

Everything has changed for me.  The way I look, the way I process  information, my emotional stamina even my relationship with others.  Ask anyone who really “knows me” and they will tell you, “there are some huge changes.” 

When I think about it, you know, I’d love others to be wiser than me.

That being said, listen to the words of “The Teacher”,  King Solomon, a very wise man from the Bible.  In chapter 12 of Ecclesiastes he says:

1 Don't let the excitement of youth cause you to forget your Creator. Honor him in your youth before you grow old and no longer enjoy living. 
2 It will be too late then to remember him, when the light of the sun and moon and stars is dim to your old eyes, and there is no silver lining left among the clouds. 
3 Your limbs will tremble with age, and your strong legs will grow weak. Your teeth will be too few to do their work, and you will be blind, too. 
4 And remember Him before the door of life’s opportunities is closed and the sound of work fades.  Now you rise at the first chirping of the birds, but then all their sounds will grow faint.
5 You will be afraid of heights and of falling, white-haired and withered, dragging along without any sexual desire. You will be standing at death's door. And as you near your everlasting home, the mourners will walk along the streets. 
6 Yes, remember your Creator now while you are young, before the silver cord of life snaps and the golden bowl is broken. Don't wait until the water jar is smashed at the spring and the pulley is broken at the well. 
7 For then the dust will return to the earth, and the spirit will return to God who gave it.  

Personal change is huge! It takes commitment and time.

Attached to today’s blog are two pictures. The first was taken in San Francisco, I believe the  year was 2002.  This is the woman my children called Mom.  The second was taken at the office this week. She’s  the one I want my grandchildren to remember. 



San Francisco 2002



May 2014

Are you willing to work at change? Let me know and I'll work with you!

Life's Not Easy

Sometimes life is unexpected and it is not easy.

Recently a number of deaths have reminded me how unexpected and not easy it is.

A co-worker lost his daughter to drugs, two young women lost their Mom to an automobile accident, a set of grandparents lost their son - he simply died overnight, twenty year old children lost their dad to suicide - it’s been a tough month.

Death is a difficult season in life.

Saturday, February 28^th I was asked to speak at a memorial for the two young women who lost their Mom, Merilee Brinson. In speaking with the family here’s what I learned:

In the year 2000, Merilee knew she was in trouble with life - she wanted an immediate fix.

Like many of us Merilee thought she could simply say the words, “I’m done” and instantly she would be living a perfect life.

She learned the principle “Change is very simple, stop what you’re doing and do different.  However change is never easy.”  However she was determined to figure this out!

Here’s a look at her back-story: 

As a junior in high school Merilee was uprooted and moved from CA to AZ. 

Her Aunt Anne shared that Merilee always welcomed her with a smile - and to her it appeared that Merilee was open and loved to welcome new friends into her life. 

Aunt Anne’s memory of Merilee’s smile goes back to Merilee’s toddler days. 

The story goes the day Aunt Anne met the toddler Merilee, Merilee ran over and just crawled into Aunt Anne’s lap - she then  immediately burst forth with that smile. 

You can spend a minute with Merilee’s granddaughter Madison and see that same smile.

Smile or no smile, in high school Merilee felt that life wasn’t fair.

You see Merilee’s Mom had died when Merilee was a kid.  

Now granted that’s not fair.  In Merilee’s mind she’d been uprooted and now she was expected to be happy about it! NO WAY!  God had not forgotten Merilee and He was guiding/providing as he does in all of our lives. 

In stepped two Godly people, her maternal grandparents, Bill and Dixie Matthies - God promises he will never fail us or forsake us; He will always provide, always guide. Bill and Dixie moved from retirement in CA to AZ to minister to three children in need (Merilee, Mike, and Martin). The children mattered to God and the children mattered to Bill and Dixie. 

Life moved on. Merilee met and married her first husband Robert, where two special daughters were born. 

Amber and Ashley.

These two gifts from God began to grow and Merilee became aware - she wanted different for the girls. 

With this in mind, the imperfect Merilee reached out to Central Christian Church of the East Valley, because as she would later say, she felt a hope and she believed that things could be better. 

Merilee accepted the Lord as her personal Lord and Savior.

Merilee and I shared a favorite Bible verse, Proverbs 3:5, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path”. 

Over the years we would revisit this verse often.

In meeting with the girls this past week, we talked a lot.

Ashley loved her trip with her Mom to San Francisco;

on another day a special hiking trip. Ashley has the text message Merilee sent her on Thanksgiving Day --- “Happy thanksgiving, I love you very much you are my special baby girl I miss you a lot have a great day I can’t wait to see you”

Amber remembers when she was pregnant with Madison. 

Merilee was here, on a one week’s vacation - that baby needed to get here right now. Amber just needed to understand.  That was Merilee.  Amber said Merilee had her climb stairs, eat spicy food, anything she could think of.  Merilee told me, “Doesn’t God understand!”

Laughingly we would simply go back to Proverbs 5:3.  By the way, Madison was born on Merilee’s last day in the valley.

A real highlight for me in talking with family this past week came from Merilee’s sister in law, Nicky. 

It seems that at the funeral in Orlando people walked up to the family to say “thank you for Merilee’s ministry”. Merilee was helping others learn to cope with life. 

For you see Merilee had reached a life dream. She had become a licensed nurse.  Her co-workers, acquaintances, people who we may never meet were being ministered to by our Merilee. They simply wanted the family to know how remarkable Merilee was. 

This person who fifteen years ago said “Life’s not fair, you just don’t understand, I can’t simply let go” was now ministering to others.

I am proud of Merilee. 

Yes we will miss her - the random phone calls, strange text messages in the middle of the night - her complaining about how we simply did not understand -Yes - we will miss Merilee.

Today, however, I believe Merilee is saying to all of us, “You can experience God’s grace.” 

Yes, there were changes in Merilee’s life over time.  God gave her joy as she learned to love her family, and blessed her as she impacted those around her. 

I’ve learned little changes over time have major impact in life.

Life is short, and we do not know who, how, or when we impact another person’s life.  We do not know when it will be our time to die. All we know is to live this day to its fullest. Use what you have and love those around you!